On Premarital Sex Part 1: What are the rules when there are no rules?

In this re-release of one of our most downloaded series, Jess and Debbie revisit a conversation listeners return to again and again: What does a Christian sexual ethic look like after purity culture—especially when it comes to premarital sex?

Joined by psychotherapist and author Mathias Roberts (Beyond Shame), Jess explores the shift many Christians face when leaving the purity culture framework behind. If you've ever wondered:

• How do I make sexual decisions without the old rulebook?

• What counts as "sexual sin" if I don't use purity-culture categories?

• How do I navigate shame, desire, and discernment?

• What does open, healthy communication look like when dating or considering sex?

…this episode is for you.

Mathias unpacks the role of shame, the paradoxes of sex, how to discern your own ethics, and why "What do I actually want?" is a surprisingly essential spiritual question. Jess shares candidly about her own late-in-life first kiss and the untangling that followed.

You'll also hear real listener advice about navigating dating, boundaries, and sex after purity culture — from Christians just like you who are rebuilding their sexual and relational lives with honesty and hope.

Whether you're dating, single, celibate, married, queer, questioning, or somewhere in the messy middle, this episode offers tools rooted in self-knowledge, faith, and compassion.

✨ Part 2 on reimagining celibacy is coming next month ✨ Hear our Patreon-only deep dive on Mathias' "Four Paradoxes of Sex" at wheredowegopod.com/partner

• Beyond Shame by Mathias Roberts

• MathiasRoberts.com

• Instagram: @mathiasroberts