Coming Out Late Ep. #105: Stuck In the Messy Middle, (Replay of Ep. #45)
In this episode, Robin reads a post written by a member of her “Coming Out Late” community about feeling stuck and sad while in the beginning stage of the messy middle. Robin also shares with us the outpouring of beautiful and practical support and encouragement. Grab your pen and paper because you are going to want to write down some of the really useful suggestions, as well as some of the poignant positive affirmations that the authors’ responders shared with her.
In this episode, you will learn…
- The necessity of taking care of yourself first during this time of coming out.
- Why it is critically important during this journey to always protect yourself first.
- The importance of setting goals and making lists and why you should start with small goals for yourself first.
- That by setting goals and achieving them, no matter how small they are (and the smaller the better in the beginning), you will begin to feel a lot less stuck!
- That now is a good time to go back to school or obtain additional training so that you make yourself more marketable when seeking employment.
- That you need to become as financially literate as possible; and open up a separate bank account, (in your name only), in a different banking institution from any joint accounts you share with your partner.
- The importance of seeking 2-3 free consultations from a few different divorce lawyers - with the sole purpose of knowing and understanding what your legal rights are for the particular state you reside in.
- Seek therapy, (a queer therapist if possible), and encourage your partner to seek his own therapist as well.
- That crying and breathing - as much as you can - really IS therapeutic!
- That by staying committed to “kindness”, you and your partner have a better chance of going through this journey amicably and communicate effectively.
- That every day will come with its different feelings and those will change constantly. It is OK to feel however you’re feeling in that moment and the importance of ‘feeling ALL the feels’.
Links to resources:
PRIVATE ONE-on-ONE COACHING w/ROBIN DOUGLASS
Struggling to make sense-of and MANAGE this new aspect of your COMING OUT LATE life? Then send me an email and request my 1:1 Coaching Information Sheet. It really does make a BIG difference to have someone like myself who ‘gets you’ and who has been through it. Email me at Comingoutlater@gmail.com for my Coaching Info Sheet.
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Every OTHER Monday Evening - 75 minutes.
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MEETING SCHEDULE:
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