Ask Uncut - When You're the Only Single One in Your Whole Friendship Group
Nov 8, 2023
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The podcast discusses a petty court case between Robert De Niro and his ex assistant. They also share funny personal stories and talk about a dating dilemma involving terrible driving. They offer advice on navigating single life and discuss topics such as work attendance and dating as a single parent.
Communicate your efficiency to your boss to maintain work-life balance and advocate for healthier expectations.
Don't compare yourself to others based on hours worked; focus on your own performance and worth.
Decide whether car sickness is a minor inconvenience or a serious deal-breaker when dating someone.
Being single doesn't make you undateable; embrace personal growth and enjoy the dating process while being patient.
Deep dives
Efficiency in Workload and Perception
In the corporate world, there can be an expectation to work extra hours and stay late. While it may not be fair, it is a reality in some workplaces. However, if you are able to efficiently manage your workload and get your tasks done in less time, it's important to communicate this to your boss. Have a conversation and explain that although you leave earlier, you are still productive and dedicated to your job. Mention the steps you take, such as working through lunch breaks, to ensure your work is completed. This open dialogue can help your boss understand your efforts and capabilities.
Culture of Hustle and Work-Life Balance
The expectation to work beyond paid hours is part of a broader hustle culture that needs to change. It is unfair to put pressure on employees to sacrifice personal time and work unpaid hours. It is important to advocate for a healthier work-life balance and emphasize the quality and efficiency of your work, rather than the number of hours spent in the office. Remember, it's okay to prioritize personal well-being and be assertive about maintaining boundaries.
Perception and Comparisons with Colleagues
It is natural to feel concerned about how your colleagues perceive your work ethic and dedication, especially if they stay later than you. However, it's important to remember that everyone has different work styles and priorities. Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on your own performance and accomplishments. If you feel comfortable, you can have open conversations with your colleagues to clarify any misconceptions and share your perspective. Remember, your worth as an employee should not be solely determined by the number of hours you spend at work.
Dating someone who makes you car sick
If you consistently get car sick while driving with someone you're dating, it can be a significant issue. While some may argue that it is a minor inconvenience, others view it as a potential deal-breaker. The podcast hosts have differing opinions on this matter. One host suggests having a conversation with your partner about your motion sickness and seeing if they can adjust their driving style. However, the other host disagrees, stating that if their driving is dangerously erratic or distracting, it's a serious problem that should be addressed. Overall, the decision to continue dating someone who makes you car sick depends on the severity of the issue and individual preferences.
Feeling down about being single and pressured by societal expectations
A listener expresses their frustration with their lack of love life and the pressure they feel as their friends get engaged or married. They mention coming out of a toxic relationship and feeling alone and discouraged. The hosts offer supportive advice, noting that feeling down about not being in a relationship is normal and shared by many. They stress that it's essential not to equate being single with something being wrong with oneself. Rather than fixating on finding a partner, they suggest focusing on personal growth and enjoying the dating process, as finding the right person takes time. They also emphasize the importance of not isolating oneself from friends and social events, as comparing oneself to others can lead to feelings of sadness and loneliness. The hosts encourage the listener to be patient and remind them that life can change dramatically at any age.
Developing a crush on a gym coach after a divorce
A single mother who recently went through a divorce shares that she has developed a crush on one of the coaches at her gym. She wonders how to show her interest and whether it would complicate things since she sees him regularly. The hosts offer contrasting perspectives on this situation. One suggests initiating digital flirting, such as following him on Instagram and engaging with his posts, to gauge his interest. The other host advises against pursuing anything romantic within the gym environment, especially if the focus is solely on casual sex. They recommend exploring other options for a casual fling outside the gym to avoid complications or discomfort. Both hosts emphasize the importance of valuing oneself and not considering one's baggage a reason to write off the possibility of finding a suitable partner.
Being undatable as a single mother with baggage
A single mother of three young children, who has been separated for seven months, expresses concerns about being seen as undatable due to her baggage. She feels hesitant to pursue romantic connections because she assumes potential partners wouldn't want to date a woman with children and a divorce. The hosts urge her to be kinder to herself and challenge this mindset. They remind her that being a single parent doesn't make her undateable, and there are many people who appreciate and embrace the opportunity to date someone with children. They also encourage her to take time for herself and not rush into anything, enjoying the process of dating and discovering who is the right fit. The hosts address societal pressures around age and relationships, assuring her that there is no set timeline and that love can be found at any stage of life.
Hey Lifers! Welcome back to your ask uncut therapy session! Today is a biggie because Laura is back and covid free. Britt's been hogtied and mortified from the little ratbag that is Delilah. Laura's luggage is finally back in her hands so the life updates are full of highs and lols today.
We break down possibly the pettiest court case to exist in the celebrity space between Robert De Niro and his ex assistant Chase Robinson. It's time to pick your fighter and choose your side. He claims she stole $60,000 worth of frequent flyer miles and watched 55 hours worth of Friends in 4 days. She claims he was inappropriate and asked her to scratch his back and be available to book bus tickets for his kids on the day of her grandmother's funeral. It really could be the plot line for a movie. Would De Niro play himself?
Vibes for this week: Laura - Prime video "shiny happy people"
-I have been dating this guy for a few weeks and we get on really well. But his driving is so bad, he spends more time looking at me than the road. He rides/pumps the accelerators and is so harsh on the break. It makes me feel so sick. I haven’t ever gotten car sick but twice now his driving has made me feel so sick that I have had to end the date a little early. Should I say anything? How can I see a future with someone that constantly makes me car sick
-I work in the corporate world and get paid 8:30-5. Currently my workload has been good so I have been able to leave at 5:30 most days. When I have a lot of work I will work back late and have even worked on public holidays (unpaid). There are other juniors in my team (who have less experience than me) who always stay back until around 6pm, so essentially I’m usually the first junior to leave. I’m almost always the first person to arrive. I also have more experience so generally am more efficient, will often work through lunch and won’t chat for super long during the day. I’m worried our bosses don’t see this effort and just see me leave first every day. I’m also worried that the other juniors don’t think I’m working as hard as them, as there have been some comments that they stay late every day and I feel they’re subtly aimed at me.
-I'm a single mum of 3 young kids, I’ve been separated for 7 months now.. I haven’t had any interest in meeting or sleeping with anyone but I’ve recently developed a crush on one of the coaches at my gym! I was with my husband for 12 years, married for 8 (I’m 34 for context) so my question is, I have no idea how to show him I’m keen/put the feelers out.. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to date me as I have a lot of baggage but I’d be happy with a shag 😆 but also would it be too complicated because I then have to see him regularly? Such a dating rookie, don’t know what to do 🙈
-I am starting to feel real down about my lack of love life. I feel like all my friends are getting engaged or married and I’m the only one left single. I'm nearing 30 and came out of a toxic relationship 3 years ago where my partner was having an affair, he moved on straight away. I have been on dating apps and I’m not sure if it’s my city or what but it’s the bottom of the barrel and I don’t want to waste my time with people who don’t have similar values or a lifestyle that aligns with mine. I’m very independent and fine alone but have reached a stage where I want someone to share my life with. I honestly feel like I’m going to have to wait for people to start getting divorced at this rate or going to have to literally move cities just to find someone. I'm starting to avoid going out or catching up with friends as it always feels like I’m the only one alone and not with a partner, and when I do go I end up feeling really sad and alone. I throw myself into working too much so I don’t have time to feel sad because it’s really starting to affect my confidence and is making me feel like there’s something inherently wrong with me. I want kids someday and I don’t want to wait too late. I know there are options to do it solo but I was raised by a solo parent and I don’t want that to be my life. Do you have any advice?
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