Episode 261: What Exactly IS a Failure of Nerve - Part 2 of 2
Jan 15, 2024
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The podcast discusses the characteristics of a chronically anxious system, the principles of leadership through self-differentiation, navigating delays and trusting the process, and persisting through sabotage. It also explores the 'Yeager heresy' and provides examples of creating an environment for change.
Understanding the characteristics of an anxious system and practicing self-differentiated leadership are crucial for effective leadership.
Leaders need to maintain a non-anxious presence, stay emotionally connected, and focus on personal growth to address sabotage effectively.
Deep dives
Characteristics of an Anxious Relationship System
An anxious relationship system is characterized by reactivity, hurting, blame displacement, quick fix mentality, and lack of differentiated leadership. Reactivity manifests as intense cycles of defensiveness and adaptivity, keeping anxiety levels elevated. Hurting refers to the pressure to conform to the system's norms. Blame displacement involves blaming external forces instead of taking personal responsibility. The quick fix mentality and lack of differentiated leadership both contribute to the system's chronic anxiety.
Principles of Leadership in a Failure of Nerve
In a failure of nerve, leadership principles involve separating oneself from emotional processes, maintaining clarity about principles and vision, willingness to be vulnerable, persisting in the face of anxious resistance, and self-regulation in the face of reactive sabotage. These principles allow leaders to observe the system without getting reactive, define their own goals and values, persist despite opposition, and avoid being drawn into conflict. Self-regulation enables clear thinking and the ability to withstand the system's challenges.
Leadership Through Self-Differentiation and Addressing Sabotage
Leaders must maintain a non-anxious presence and avoid having a failure of nerve when facing sabotage. Bishop Leander Harding's concept of the 'Yeager heresy' warns against becoming rigidly inflexible when taking a principled stand. Leaders should stay emotionally connected, especially with those who resist change. By creating emotional space and staying cordial with those who disagree, leaders can maintain a non-anxious presence and create an environment conducive to change. Through self-differentiation and focusing on personal growth, leaders can address sabotage effectively.
Knowing the characteristics of a chronically anxious system, as well as the principles of leadership through self-differentiation makes all the difference.