Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Stop People Pleasing and Start Honoring You! 162: How to Stop Fixing, Controlling, and Over-Accommodating Everyone
Healing the Fixer, the Controller, and the Victim: Trying On New Roles for Growth
Sometimes the roles we’ve played in order to survive—like the fixer, the controller, or the victim—become so familiar that we mistake them for who we truly are. But what if those identities were never you? What if they were just survival strategies… and it’s finally safe to take them off?
Today we explore how to recognize when these old roles are at play and how to shift into new, healing identities that support your growth and relationships. You’ll learn how to try on new ways of being like the accountability coach, the curious collaborator, and the hero—roles that are empowering, connected, and aligned with your healing.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How to identify the “fixer,” “controller,” and “victim” roles when they show up in your life
- Why these identities often develop as a way to create safety in unsafe environments
- How to shift from the fixer to the accountability coach—supporting without enabling
- How to transform from the controller into the curious collaborator—inviting trust and flexibility
- How to evolve from the victim into the hero—finding your power through choice
- Questions to help you reflect on which roles you tend to wear and what it’s time to release
Challenge for the Week:
Notice when one of your old roles starts to take over—like the fixer jumping in to solve something that isn’t yours to fix. Pause. Ask yourself: “What would it feel like to choose a new identity here?” Then take one small step into a healing role, even if it feels unfamiliar.
Work With Me:
Ready to release the roles that no longer serve you? My 6-week coaching package helps empaths and HSPs reclaim their energy, rewrite their inner stories, and step fully into who they’re becoming. If you’re ready to shift from survival to thriving, click here to book your FREE consultation call to get started!
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