153. The Best Way to Communicate with Your Difficult Ex with Bill Eddy

If you’ve ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).

You’ll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.

What you’ll learn:

• What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)
• How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fire
• What judges think when they read your emails
• How to save major money by communicating smarter
• The difference between reacting and responding
• Why empathy is a power move (not a weakness)
• How to stop playing the blame game and move forward
• The biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or email
• How to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounce
• What “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid it

Burning questions answered in this episode:

• What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?
• How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?
• Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?
• Why does tone matter if we’re already in court?
• How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?

Connect with Bill Eddy:

• Website: www.highconflictinstitute.com
• Books: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and more
• Instagram: @highconflictinstitute

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago