The Empathy Edge

Michael Bungay Stanier: How to Work with (Almost) Anyone

Feb 20, 2024

50:22

Snipd AI

In this engaging conversation, leadership coach and best-selling author Michael Bungay Stanier discusses the superpower of empathy in the workplace. He differentiates between leadership and coaching, stressing the importance of curiosity and genuine connection. Michael unveils six leadership styles and shares the dangers of rescuer behavior. He introduces the concept of Keystone Conversations, offering five questions to help improve challenging relationships. With insights from his journey, Michael emphasizes self-awareness as key to effective leadership.

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Quick takeaways

Empathetic leadership involves balancing compassion with accountability, which is essential for enhancing overall effectiveness in a fast-paced environment.

Curiosity plays a critical role in successful leadership by fostering open communication and transforming dysfunctional relationships into productive partnerships.

Deep dives

The Empathy Dilemma and Its Myths

Empathy is increasingly challenging for leaders in today's fast-paced environment. Misconceptions surrounding empathy, such as the belief that being empathetic means sacrificing accountability, are highlighted as barriers to effective leadership. Acknowledging the five pillars of successful empathetic leadership—self-awareness, self-care, emotional intelligence, curiosity, and accountability—can help leaders navigate these challenges. By recognizing and addressing these myths, leaders can balance compassion with performance, ultimately enhancing their effectiveness.

Intro

4min

Empathy and Leadership: A Journey of Connection

20min

The Pillars of Empathetic Leadership in the Workplace

3min

The Power of Self-Awareness in Leadership

16min

Building Better Relationships in Leadership

3min

Building Better Relationships Through Empathy and Communication

2min

Concluding Insights and Free Masterclass Promotion

2min

Empathy is a superpower, yes, but what about those people you just truly believe are unbearable to work or talk with? I know someone is coming to mind for you. And how much more complicated does it get when you work for that someone, or they work for you?

Today, I am delighted to share my conversation with leadership coach, speaker, and best-selling author Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael and I talked about the difference between leadership and coaching and the role empathy and curiosity play in those skills, why so many leaders misunderstand what coaching means, why rescuers create victims and the importance of learning how to listen. He shares the key to having Keystone Conversations to create a better working relationship. And he shares five questions that will help you build the best possible relationship with almost anyone - and why he says "almost!" Plus, we had a love fest for our mutual publisher, Page Two. Michael is a legend and as kind and generous as they come. Take a listen.

To access the episode transcript, please click on the episode title at www.TheEmpathyEdge.com

Key Takeaways:

There are six different leadership styles, and the greatest leaders know how to utilize each of them at the appropriate times.
If you're a leader, your job is to help figure out what the right stuff is to work on, and then help get the best people to do their best work working on the stuff that matters.
Rescuer behavior appears to be empathetic and kind, but it’s actually being nosy and it hurts more than it help others in adult-to-adult relationships.
You are doing the work of leading when you’re doing the work of self-care and self-reflection.

"I do believe…that every working relationship can be better. If you could make all of them 10-15% better, that would make a difference, because not just your success at work, but your happiness at work is dependent on the quality of your working relationships." — Michael Bungay Stanier

Episode References:

The Empathy Edge podcast: Shasta Nelson: Why Successful Leaders Encourage Work Friendships
Accountability and Empathy (Are Not Mutually Exclusive) by Ed Batista
Page Two Publishing

Brand Story Breakthrough course to help you craft a clear, compelling brand story - includes weekly office hours with Maria!

About Michael Bungay Stanier:

Michael Bungay Stanier is best known for The Coaching Habit, the best-selling coaching book of the century and recognized as a classic. His most recent book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone, shows how to build the Best Possible Relationship with the key people at work. Michael was a Rhodes Scholar, and was recently awarded the coaching prize by Thinkers50, “the Oscars of Management.”

Connect with Michael Bungay Stanier:

MBS.works: https://www.mbs.works/

X: https://www.twitter.com/mbs_works

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelbungaystanier

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mbs_works-113849977032317

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mbs_works

Book: How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships

Check out a FREE Video example of Michael’s Keystone Conversation at: https://bestpossiblerelationship.com/

Join the tribe, download your free guide! Discover what empathy can do for you: http://red-slice.com/business-benefits-empathy

Connect with Maria:

Get the podcast and book: TheEmpathyEdge.com

Learn more about Maria and her work: Red-Slice.com