How To Talk To Your Kid About Phones With Special Guest Max Stossel

To quote Max Stossel “social media is drastically impacting young people’s mental health, focus, social skills, productivity and self-worth".  On today’s episode, Leslie has a conversation with technology expert, Max Stossel, who was a media strategist before becoming an educator on this topic. He speaks about the reality of phones and compassionately, how parents do indeed have to deal with this reality because it's not going away.  Max increases our understanding of how social media is designed to keep kids (and us) on the phones. He offers practical solutions to work on and hopes to create a common language between parents and their kids.  

Time Stamps

3:45 Max explains his mission to “help children survive and thrive in the modern world”

• Social Media is like gas on a fire of all the issues that were already there for teenagers/kids such as self worth, bullying, etc

5:00 Help kids to have a mindful moment of really checking in about how their technology makes them feel

8:40 How understanding slot machines and their variable reward system explains how and why we use the phone (Intermitten reinforcement which keeps a behavior going

11:37 Changing the question to your child from “do you like this? TO how does it make you feel?”

• “How does it make you feel during and after?”

13:00 We can help children develop an awareness of what they are feeling during and after being on technology

14:45 Discussing the overwhelm that parents feel with the pressures of tech use

15:30 Discussion of why and how to delay giving your child a phone for as long as possible and problem solving

19:16 Max’s list a few of his recommendations (see show notes for a more extensive list)

• Removing phones from bedrooms
• Using Technology is a trade between presence or looking at my phone. Its a choice
• Narrate that choice- take responsibility for the choice you make
• The bigger the screen the better (more social accountability and less isolation)

24:15 Two role play situations.   25:17 Trying to get your teen off their phone.  34:20 When your tween asks you to get them a phone

28:40 Review of the strategies of the first role play 

38::00 Review of the strategies of the second role play

42:20 Technology gets in the way of self discovery

45:30 Experiment with substitute experiences instead of scrolling

Leslie-ism: Replace the question of “do you like this TO how does it make you feel”

Resources:

Max Stossel’s Organization Social Awakening Website with technology resources

Here is a list of best practices recommended by Max Stossel

Here is list of best practices recommended by Max Stossel

Max Stossel’s Website as a Poet and Performer

The Center For Human Technology with a link to the movie The Social Dilemma

Wait Until 8th Movement - resources and information

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram,