Raising Good Humans

What to Do When Your Kid Says “I Hate Myself” and How to Build Self-Compassion With Renowned Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre

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Apr 25, 2025
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INSIGHT

Core Nature of Self-Hatred

  • Self-hatred is a deep, pervasive feeling of flawedness embedded in the self, unlike fleeting self-criticism.
  • It's inescapable and perceived as an intrinsic part of one's identity, not just a temporary state.
ANECDOTE

Learning Self-Hatred Early

  • Children learn self-hatred from their environment, often through comparisons and subtle messages of unworthiness.
  • One patient acknowledged hating himself as an obvious outcome of being taught he was undeserving from a young age.
ADVICE

Unlearning Self-Hatred

  • Help children unlearn self-hatred by identifying when and who taught them these feelings.
  • Encourage them to reframe those learned lessons and choose positive, supportive influences instead.
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