Cody Delistraty, a grief researcher who turned his personal loss into a quest for solutions, shares insights from his journey after losing his mother. He explores various unconventional remedies for grief, including psychedelics and technology, and highlights the importance of community and creative expression in healing. Cody's reflections on literature, laughter, and art reveal powerful ways to navigate loss, emphasizing that understanding and connection are vital to finding solace in the grieving process.
Read more
AI Summary
AI Chapters
Episode notes
auto_awesome
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
Grief is a complex, individual journey that can't be simplified into a single formula or linear process.
Cody's exploration of diverse healing methods, including technology and literature, illustrates the multifaceted nature of processing grief.
Deep dives
The Complexity of Grief
Grief is a multifaceted experience that cannot be reduced to a simple formula or prescribed path. The conversation highlights that the well-known five stages of grief, developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, were originally intended to describe the process of dying rather than how individuals cope with loss. Grief can arise not only from death but also from experiences like breakups, where individuals mourn the future they envisioned with someone who is no longer a part of their life. Recognizing that grief is a personal journey, Cody de Lestrade's exploration into various healing methods leads to the understanding that there is no singular 'cure' for grief.
Exploration of Grief Through Various Mediums
Cody D'Elistrati shares his extensive journey into processing his grief through unconventional avenues, including literature, therapy, and even simulated conversations using AI. He engages with bibliotherapy, where reading specific memoirs about loss helped him connect with others' experiences. His utilization of laughter therapy illustrates the interconnectedness of joy and sorrow, positing that laughter can be a form of coping with grief. These diverse approaches indicate that the journey through grief often involves experimenting with various ways to understand and manage emotional pain.
Finding Comfort in Nostalgia and Rituals
As Cody reflects on his relationship with his late mother, he finds solace in revisiting shared experiences and memories, such as rewatching their favorite movie and enjoying her favorite ice cream flavor. These simple rituals provide a way to honor her memory and keep her presence alive in his life. He emphasizes the importance of connection, stating that sharing these moments with family and friends strengthens their bonds and serves to validate their collective grief. This practice reveals that acknowledging and celebrating memories can be an integral part of the healing process.
Grief in the Era of Technology
Cody incorporates technology into his grieving process by revisiting recorded interviews with his mother and using AI to simulate conversations with her. This exploration conveys a sense of connection that allows him to engage with her memory in a meaningful way, highlighting the fluidity between grief and technology. Although these interactions offer temporary comfort, they also bring moments of poignant realization that they cannot replace the actual relationship. Ultimately, this hybrid approach sheds light on how modern tools can be both comforting and challenging when grappling with the reality of loss.
After Cody Delistraty’s mom died in his early 20s he decided to turn his grief into a research project with one central question: can grief be cured? In this episode, he talks to Anna about all of the various remedies he tried, what worked, and what lessons he learned along the way.
Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.
And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.