151. Stop getting attached too quickly ft. Lyss Boss
Dec 11, 2023
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Joining us today is Lyss Boss, host of the Date Yourself Instead podcast. They discuss the dangers of getting attached too quickly in relationships and the importance of self-love. They also talk about green flags in a healthy relationship, positive affirmations, managing expectations, and the physical reactions of being attached to the wrong person.
Invest time and energy in self-love and personal growth to avoid getting attached too quickly and ensure genuine compatibility and respect in relationships.
Recognize the importance of emotional independence, self-concept building, and creating boundaries to prevent unhealthy attachments and settle for a fulfilling relationship.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Impacts of Attachment
When people get attached too quickly, it can lead to difficulties in relationships as they may overlook red flags or put undue pressure on the connection. Society often places pressure on women to settle, which can contribute to hasty attachments. It's important to ground oneself and understand that settling is not the solution. Investing time and energy in self-love, meditation, and positive affirmations can help build a strong sense of self and ensure that attachment is based on genuine compatibility and respect.
Indicators of a Healthy Connection
Signs of a healthy emotional attachment include mutual understanding, respect, and consistent effort from both parties. A strong connection should bring a sense of peace and ease. If discomfort or anxiety arise early on, it may be a red flag. Open and clear communication, as well as inclusivity in each other's lives, are also positive green flags. Emotional independence is essential, as relying on someone else's validation can lead to insecurity. Maintaining a balanced perspective and focusing on personal well-being can help avoid getting attached too quickly.
Overcoming Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem
Getting attached too quickly can be linked to insecurity and low self-esteem. Healing and building a strong self-concept is crucial. Affirmations and meditation can shift mindset and foster self-love. It's essential to remember that settling for less is not the answer. Recognizing one's worth and creating boundaries is key. Evaluating potential partners based on whether they respect and value the relationship, display consistency, and express a clear future can help avoid unhealthy attachments.
Listening to Physical and Emotional Signs
Paying attention to physical and emotional reactions is crucial in avoiding unhealthy attachments. Physical discomfort or illness around a person may indicate a negative connection. Stress can also impact well-being and should be considered. Trusting one's gut instinct and being attuned to one's body can help identify when an attachment is not healthy and requires detachment. Being emotionally grounded and prioritizing self-care are essential for navigating relationships with intention and clarity.
We all know the feeling of going on a few dates with someone and, suddenly, you're unable to stop checking your phone for messages, wondering when they're free, imagining the wedding, your future kids. And then we are left depleted, ghosted or disappointed. This is what happens when we romanticise the idea of someone, engage in fantasy bonding and it can often end up sabotaging the relationship.
In today's episode we are joined by the wonderful Lyss Boss, host of the Date Yourself Instead podcast to break down how we can take things slow and not get caught up in the idea of someone before we truly know them. Listen now.