My Father Planned His Death. I Didn’t Stop Him.

Oct 8, 2024

Jason Armstrong, a lawyer, opens up about his harrowing experience as he navigates his father's decision to end his life at 85. Initially viewing it as narcissism, Jason’s perspective evolves as he witnesses his father's careful preparations. He shares poignant moments, like their final night drinking tiny sips of his dad's favorite beverages. The conversation dives into balancing love and loss, confronting family dynamics, and grappling with the emotional complexities of honoring a parent's wishes amidst grief.

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ANECDOTE

Father's Death Plan Revealed

Jason's father emailed him at 5:30 am saying he would stop eating and drinking to end his life.
Jason's first reaction was shock and labeling the act as narcissistic and controlling.

ANECDOTE

Processing Panic and Perspective Shift

Jason had panic attacks during morning walks as he processed his father's decision.
He intellectually fought the idea of narcissism and realized his father's mindset was different due to age.

ANECDOTE

Family Gathering Before Death

Jason's father set a date to stop eating and drinking and gradually reduced calories.
Family and friends gathered, shared barbecues and talks as he prepared for death with hospice support.

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One day on his morning Uber route, Jason Armstrong got an email from his father. The message: at 85, he'd decided to end his life by stopping eating and drinking. Jason's first reaction? This was the "ultimate act of narcissism." But over the next few months, as Jason witnessed his dad's careful preparations, his perspective shifted. In this episode, Jason talks to Anna about processing his father's choice - from panic attacks on morning walks to a poignant final night sharing tiny sips of favorite drinks, and opens up about grappling with love, tenderness, and what it means to honor a parent's wishes, even when they're hard to accept.

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

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