Made You Think
113: Too Much of a Good Thing: Bad Therapy
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
- Therapy is infiltrating parenting culture more than actual therapy sessions.
- Overreliance on therapy as a universal solution can perpetuate self-serving industries.
- Continuous rumination induced by therapy can worsen mental health issues.
- Parental authority should be retained, with therapy used as a last resort for children's emotional challenges.
Deep dives
Therapy and Child Rearing
The podcast explores how therapy has infiltrated schools and child rearing, emphasizing that therapy has a more significant impact on parenting than on actual therapy sessions. It raises concerns about therapy being used as a universal cure for every problem faced by individuals, highlighting the self-perpetuating nature of industries promoting therapy as the first solution, similar to 'if you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.'
Mental Health Statistics and Therapy Usage
The podcast delves into statistics comparing therapy usage between generations, citing rising rates of therapy among Gen Z compared to Gen X. It discusses how therapy-related interventions are seen as the issue, with therapy being significantly more common among the rising generation. The conversation also touches on the overdiagnosis and overprescription of mental health treatments, both officially and unofficially.
Impact of Therapy on Mental Health
The podcast explores how therapy-induced rumination can exacerbate mental health issues, leading to potentially harmful effects of continuous reflection on problems without offering effective solutions. It highlights the dangers of therapy becoming a reactionary impulse, inhibiting individuals from developing a balanced approach to addressing emotional challenges.
Parent-Child Relationship and Therapy Dependency
The podcast delves into the influence of therapy on the parent-child relationship, cautioning against therapy creating dependencies and diminishing parental authority. It emphasizes the importance of retaining parental agency and using therapy as a last resort rather than a default solution, citing the negative impacts of therapy intervention, especially on children's agency and self-trust.
External Locus of Control
Believing in structural racism can create an external locus of control, leading to feelings of helplessness and despair among minorities. The movie "Coach Carter" exemplifies how setting high expectations and standards can transform lives positively, instilling discipline and responsibility.
Discipline and Boundaries
The movie depicts how enforcing discipline, setting high standards, and implementing consequences can shape individuals positively, transitioning them from adolescents to responsible adults. The importance of boundaries and clear expectations is highlighted, emphasizing the role of discipline in fostering growth and accountability.
Parenting and Expectations
The discussion revolves around the impact of parenting styles, contrasting authoritative versus authoritarian approaches. Gentle parenting, characterized by excessive leniency, may not always be beneficial for children. Stricter, more authoritative parenting methods can lead to improved behavior and compliance, showcasing the significance of setting clear rules and expectations for children.
"We’ve never had a generation more focused on its feelings and, frankly, not one more tyrannized by their feelings.”
Welcome back to another episode of Made You Think! Today, we're delving into Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy, a thought-provoking book which highlights the impact of therapy on individuals, especially younger generations. Join us as we explore the nuances of therapy, its incentives, and its effects.
We cover a wide range of topics including:
- Challenges of parenting in a therapy-centric culture
- Unintended consequences of therapeutic incentives
- The fine line between taking thoughts too seriously vs. dismissing them
- Why boundary-setting is crucial as a parent
- Implications of having an external locus of control
And much more. Please enjoy, and make sure to follow Nat, Neil, and Adil on Twitter and share your thoughts on the episode.
Links from the Episode:
Mentioned in the Show:
- Arnold (15:37)
- Spiritual bypassing (23:21)
- Washington Post on birth control (46:55)
- How We Feel (54:01)
- Coach Carter (57:47)
- How to Understand the Well-Being Gap between Liberals and Conservatives (1:25:31)
Books Mentioned:
- Bad Therapy
- The Body Keeps the Score (07:09) (Book Episode)
- Irreversible Damage (40:44)
- The Fourth Turning (1:08:32) (Book Episode)
People Mentioned:
Show Topics:
(0:00) In today’s episode, we’re covering Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier, who discusses the impact of therapy on individuals, particularly younger generations, and questions the efficacy and motives behind widespread therapeutic practices.
(1:57) We provide an overview of the book, examining the sense of loneliness and sadness prevalent in today's youth. It poses the question of whether therapy-related interventions are actually a part of the problem rather than the solution.
(5:32) How incentives in therapy can sometimes lead to unintended consequences. Shrier highlights that therapists often prefer patients with milder mental health issues, as these sessions can be more relaxed. This raises questions about the subjective nature of screening and diagnostic tools in mental health care.
(10:15) The distinction between chronic and acute treatment, noting how the medical industry often favors chronic cases for their profitability. We touch on various types of therapy, noting that the results of physical therapy, for example, are much more tangible than talk therapy.
(12:42) Nat, Neil, and Adil talk a bit about their personal experiences with therapy.
(15:55) Why going to the gym and being physically active can improve well-being, and how it offers a sense of control and measurable progress in various aspects of life.
(21:12) Shrier emphasizes the lack of agency children have in deciding to continue or end therapy. We also discuss how dwelling on problems, or forced rumination, can exacerbate issues, especially in the context of depression and anxiety.
(25:19) We discuss how therapy can often lead us to give undue weight to passing thoughts, turning them into more significant concerns than they should have been.
(29:33) It can be a challenge for parents to know when to seek therapy for children or teens. The author suggests exploring all alternatives before turning to therapy. We also dive into the theme of internal vs. external locus of control, where the fear of making mistakes can lead to seeking external validation.
(34:25) Are doctors too quick to prescribe medications in non-serious cases?
(39:51) Where is the balance between taking every thought and emotion seriously vs. dismissing them? We discuss generational differences, stoic parenting, the importance of discussing feelings with a trusted friend or partner, and the impact on children who feel unheard.
(45:30) Similar to therapy and mental health, public sentiments on various topics can evolve over time. Nat, Neil, and Adil draw parallels with the changing views on vaccines, from widespread acceptance to increased skepticism post-Covid. We also touch on the topic of birth control, highlighting the lack of female perspectives in these discussions often dominated by male doctors.
(53:26) Happiness, when constantly pursued, can often evade us. Instead, we explore the concept of finding contentment and balance in life, recognizing that happiness is not always the ultimate objective.
(56:50) When we attribute our life circumstances solely to external factors, it can lead us to feel powerless.
(1:02:37) We explore the notion of discipline and touch upon various parenting styles, including gentle parenting.
(1:06:05) Differences in the cultural dynamics of Zen X and Millennial parents. Each generation has its parenting narrative. It's about finding the balance between micromanaging and giving your child space, allowing kids to explore within set boundaries.
(1:09:14) We discuss the dynamics of the nuclear family and how it affects the level of involvement from extended family members.
(1:14:11) Differences in parenting style based on immigration status, and how punishment was carried out between different generations of parents.
(1:18:37) There's an internal pressure to be a flawless parent, often fueled by therapy that revisits childhood experiences. This cycle of rumination can lead to hyper-vigilance in parenting.
(1:24:08) Social media's impact on how we view and express ourselves on different issues.
(1:28:56) The level of risk in your humor often reflects the closeness of your relationships. However, we must be careful as words can always be misconstrued.
(1:31: 37) Can empathy actually have negative consequences? Nat, Neil, and Adil share their final thoughts and takeaways from the book.
(1:36:48) That wraps up this episode! If you were intrigued by today's discussion, check out Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier. Next up on the show, we'll be covering Einstein’s Dreams. Also, be sure to check out our new Instagram page!
If you enjoyed this episode, let us know by leaving a review on iTunes and tell a friend. As always, let us know if you have any book recommendations! You can say hi to us on Twitter @TheRealNeilS, @adilmajid, @nateliason and share your thoughts on this episode.
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Thanks for listening. See you next time!
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