The Fourth Trauma Response You’ve Never Heard Of (And How It’s Running Your Life) with Dr. Ingrid Clayton | 342

Sep 8, 2025

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Sometimes being “nice” isn’t so nice—it’s self-abandonment in disguise. In this episode, we learn about the fourth trauma response from Dr. Ingrid Clayton, a licensed clinical psychologist, trauma recovery expert, and author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back.

Ingrid brings over 20 years of clinical experience helping people break free from trauma responses that no longer serve them. Her Psychology Today blog, Emotional Sobriety, has reached over a million readers, and her work has become a lifeline for anyone ready to stop twisting themselves into knots just to feel safe, seen, or accepted.

Together, we dig into the lesser-known trauma response of fawning—what it really looks like, how it shows up in women’s lives, and how it’s different from (but connected to) codependency and people-pleasing. More importantly, Ingrid shares how to start unfawning so you can reclaim your voice, your needs, and your full self.

We cover:

The difference between compassion and compulsion
How fawning hides in plain sight as “being nice” or “helpful”
Why women are especially conditioned to default to fawning
How to notice when you’re fawning in real time
Practical ways to build internal safety and stop outsourcing your worth

Because survival mode kept you safe, but it will never help you thrive.

Connect with Ingrid:

Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Fawning-Need-Please-Makes-Ourselves/dp/B0DPZ3D78B

IG: https://www.instagram.com/ingridclaytonphd/

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