Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Stop People Pleasing and Start Honoring You! 93: Emotional Calm vs Emotional Charge
In this episode we discuss the differences between communicating from a place of emotional calm versus approaching conversations with heightened emotional charge.
Examples of Emotionally Charged vs. Emotionally Calm Responses:
- Emotionally charged: "You're avoiding me to punish me."
- Emotional calm: "Hey, I'd love to get together, I miss you."
- Emotionally charged: "You must not like me very much."
- Emotional calm: "Hey, I haven't heard from you as much lately, what's been going on?"
- Emotionally charged: "Our friendship doesn't matter anymore."
- Emotional calm: "I noticed we haven't been spending much time together, is everything okay?"
- Emotionally charged: "I guess I can't count on you."
- Emotional calm: "I'm feeling overwhelmed with work, could use some support, are you available?"
Reasons for Emotionally Charged Responses:
- Past Experiences: Previous negative experiences or traumas shaping interpretations.
- Insecurity: Low self-esteem leading to negative interpretations.
- Lack of Communication Skills: Not having the skills to communicate effectively.
- Projection: Projecting fears or insecurities onto others.
- Defense Mechanisms: Becoming defensive to protect ego.
- Emotional Triggers: Strong reactions based on past experiences.
- Cognitive Bias: Seeking and interpreting information to confirm existing beliefs.
The episode emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation, pointing out that it ultimately boils down to our ability to manage our emotions in order to communicate effectively. Consider instances in your life where emotional regulation might be a challenge, particularly in relationships. By recognizing these patterns, individuals can strive to approach conversations from a place of emotional calm, leading to more constructive dialogue and healthier relationships.
Looking for more support? Come and work with me! Click here to apply now