Life Kit

How to talk about death and dying

39 snips
Dec 22, 2025
J.S. Park, a hospital chaplain and author of *As Long as You Need: Permission to Grieve*, dives into the difficult but vital topic of death. He discusses the cultural taboos surrounding dying and how these can hinder meaningful conversations. Park highlights the sensory realities families face as loved ones pass and stresses the importance of offering specific, practical support during this time. He emphasizes the value of honest final conversations and maintaining dignity through advance directives, illustrating that discussing death can actually foster connection and healing.
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ANECDOTE

Unexpected Confrontation With Death

  • Marielle Segarra describes entering an Italian church and seeing decomposing bodies, which triggered an existential panic about death.
  • The visceral encounter made her realize she had never been taught to think about dying without unraveling.
INSIGHT

Platitudes As Self-Soothing

  • J.S. Park explains that platitudes like "God's got it" often function as a coping mechanism to soothe existential panic in the room.
  • Recognizing this softens anger and reveals why people default to comforting one-liners instead of engaging pain.
ADVICE

Prepare Loved Ones Before Entering The Room

  • Before entering a hospital room, ask someone who's already seen the patient to prepare you for how they'll look and what equipment they have.
  • Use that soft warning language to cushion the shock and allow family members to decide if they're ready to see them.
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