#368 Is Porn (and Sex) Addiction Real (Round Two)? - with Neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise
Feb 13, 2024
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Neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise discusses sex and porn addiction, explaining what happens in the brain and offering healing modalities. Also, they explore alternative methods for sexual pleasure, inclusivity in the sex and disability market, and the impact of social connection on brain development. The speakers share personal stories about addiction and dependencies, including experiences with substances and porn. Finally, they discuss the transformative power of holding space for difficult emotions.
Sex and porn addiction can be real for some individuals who experience a persistent pattern of failure to control intense urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviors.
Compulsive sexual behaviors, such as sex and porn addiction, can be influenced by the reward circuitry in the brain, and may be driven by self-medication for negative moods or stress.
Addressing concerns about compulsive sexual behaviors with a partner requires creating a safe and non-judgmental space for dialogue, emphasizing connection and growth.
Deep dives
Sex and Porn Addiction: Understanding Compulsive Behaviors
Sex and porn addiction can be real for some individuals who experience a persistent pattern of failure to control intense urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviors. These behaviors can become the central focus of their lives, neglecting their health, personal care, interests, activities, and responsibilities. People with sex and porn addiction may make numerous unsuccessful attempts to control their behaviors and continue engaging in them despite adverse events and negative impacts on their relationships, occupation, and health. It's important to consider individual experiences and listen deeply without judgment to determine if these behaviors are becoming problematic.
The Role of the Brain in Compulsive Sexual Behaviors
Compulsive sexual behaviors, such as sex and porn addiction, can be influenced by the reward circuitry in the brain. When this system is not working well, individuals may use sexual activities to self-medicate and regulate their negative moods or stress. Some people may have a predisposition to these compulsive behaviors due to genetic factors or childhood traumas. Those with compulsive behaviors may experience little or no pleasure or satisfaction and may engage in these behaviors even when they have adverse consequences. It's crucial to listen deeply and evaluate each individual's unique circumstances to determine if their sexual behaviors are becoming problematic.
Understanding the Diagnosis of Compulsive Sexual Behavior
The diagnosis of compulsive sexual behavior disorder involves a persistent pattern of failure to control intense urges and impulses resulting in repetitive sexual behaviors. Some key criteria include the behaviors hijacking one's attention and becoming the central focus of their lives, neglecting personal health, responsibilities, and activities. Individuals may make numerous unsuccessful attempts to control their behaviors and may continue engaging in them despite adverse events and negative impacts on their relationships, occupation, or health. The diagnosis requires these behaviors to persist for at least six months and should not be solely based on moral judgments or disapproval of one's sexual impulses.
Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Seeking Help
Personal experiences with compulsive sexual behaviors can vary, ranging from addiction with withdrawal symptoms to mental addictions driven by the mind's attachment and struggle to move away from certain behaviors or substances. It is important to seek help and support from professionals who can listen deeply without judgment to evaluate and understand the impact of these behaviors on one's life and well-being. Each individual's experience is unique, and it is crucial to approach the topic with openness and empathy to support their journey towards holistic health and well-being.
Recognizing Addictive Processes
Addictive behaviors often arise from a persistent desire for more, which can manifest as dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment. The key distinction between a problem and a healthy behavior is whether it is persistent and interfering with other aspects of life. Looking at BDSM practitioners as an example, the focus should be on safety, consent, and whether the activity brings joy and enhances overall functioning.
Addressing Concerns with a Partner
When addressing concerns with a partner, it is important to approach the conversation with clarity and open-mindedness. Start by reflecting on your own perspective and intentions, ensuring the concern is not solely rooted in personal issues. Create a safe and non-judgmental space for dialogue, emphasizing that this is not about blaming or accusing, but rather an opportunity for connection and growth. Understanding that defensive reactions can occur, be patient and offer the opportunity for further conversation when emotions have settled. If a partner acknowledges the concern, listen attentively and discuss possible approaches for addressing the issue together.
This episode is intended to continue the conversation we had on #359 with Gigi Engle. You asked us to host a neuroscientist to discuss what’s happening in the brain during compulsive use of sex and porn, and repeat guest Dr. Nan Wise is the perfect fit for this discussion.
Dr. Nan shares her definition of sex and porn addiction and whether or not it’s real (spoiler alert - she says it’s VERY real for some people). She explains what’s happening in the brain when someone starts to consume sex and porn compulsively, as well as when it turns into an addiction. She takes this even further by explaining how to know if your own behavior has become compulsive and some of the best modalities for healing or reclaiming your sexuality, as well as what to do if you suspect your partner’s behaviors are problematic.
About our guest: Nan Wise, Ph.D., is a cognitive neuroscientist, professor, licensed psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, board-certified clinical hypnotherapist, and certified relationship specialist. After almost twenty years in clinical practice, she became driven to understand how the brain creates moods and behaviors in relation to sex and other aspects of human experience. Having returned to academia to pursue a Ph.D. in cognitive neuroscience, she is now a cognitive neuroscience researcher at Rutgers University-Newark. She is the author of the book Why Good Sex Matters and has contributed her expert opinion to outlets such as National Geographic, The Atlantic, Time, Glamour, Women’s Health Magazine, The Washington Post, HuffPost, Romper, and Bustle. To learn more visithttp://askdoctornan.com
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