Raising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve
Feb 6, 2024
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The podcast discusses the importance of allowing children to grieve and experience uncomfortable feelings. It highlights the benefits of letting children feel and express these emotions, emphasizing that grief and loss are normal and healthy. The speaker shares personal stories and offers advice on supporting children through the grieving process. It also explores children's experiences of loss and the need for open communication with parents.
30:41
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Quick takeaways
Letting children experience and express grief is crucial for their mental health and emotional resilience.
Supporting children's grief by trusting their process and accepting their emotions helps them develop resilience.
Deep dives
Letting Children Grieve and the Importance of Allowing Them to Feel
In this episode, the speaker explores the idea of letting children grieve and the importance of allowing them to experience uncomfortable feelings. The speaker emphasizes that letting children experience grief is a positive and healthy part of life, and it helps them build emotional resilience. The speaker shares examples of how children can express their grief, such as crying or repeating words like 'mama' and 'papa'. By acknowledging their feelings and holding space for them, children learn that it is okay to feel sad and that these emotions will eventually pass.
The Challenges of Allowing Children to Feel Loss and Sadness
The episode discusses the challenges that parents and caregivers face when trying to let children feel loss and sadness. It highlights the importance of perceiving these feelings as healthy and positive, even though it may be difficult for adults to witness. The speaker encourages adults to reflect on their own discomfort and fears, and to find a place of conviction and trust in the process. The speaker also advises responding to children's expressions of sadness without making assumptions or trying to distract them. By staying present and acknowledging their feelings, children can begin to process their emotions.
Supporting Children's Grief with Trust and Acceptance
The episode emphasizes the importance of supporting children's grief by trusting their process and accepting their emotions. The speaker shares an example of a child crying when a parent leaves, and explains the significance of providing a safe and solid sounding board for their feelings. It is crucial for adults to trust that allowing children to feel and express their grief is a positive experience. By staying present and not rushing to divert their attention, adults can help children process their emotions in a healthy manner.
The Benefits of Allowing Children to Experience Loss and Grief
The episode highlights the benefits of allowing children to fully experience loss and grief. By embracing these emotions, children receive important messages that sadness and loss are normal and healthy aspects of life. The speaker shares a personal story of a child grieving their deceased pet and how their process of expressing and moving through their grief was much quicker and healthier than the speaker's own. The episode emphasizes that by letting children feel and process their emotions, they develop resilience and a greater capacity for handling difficult situations in the future.
Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide them the messages and experience they need to learn to deal with loss capably and, most important of all, know loss is survivable.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame" and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play