How I Work How to lead when you’re scared of saying the wrong thing, with Clare Stephens
Oct 8, 2025
Clare Stephens, a writer and former editor-in-chief at Mamamia, shares her personal experiences with public backlash and leadership. She explains the emotional toll of public shaming versus 'cancel culture' and how thoughtfulness can transform criticism. Clare offers insight on crafting effective apologies, both online and at work, emphasizing accountability and psychological safety. Finally, she reflects on leaving her dream role to pursue a more values-aligned path, revealing how motherhood reshaped her self-worth and decision-making.
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The Real Harm Of Public Shaming
- Public shaming creates a suffocating feeling of worthlessness and ostracism for the target.
- That psychological pain discourages people from speaking up and centers shame over learning.
OnlyFans Article Backlash Changed Her
- Clare Stephens wrote a tone-deaf OnlyFans article that provoked backlash and made her cringe.
- Detailed, civil emails — not angry voice notes — changed her mind and led her to take the piece down.
Avoid Angry Engagements Online
- Don't engage with people who only shout or dehumanize you; it's rarely productive.
- Instead, reflect, learn the lessons, and change your behaviour where needed.
