Better Sex #44: Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On
The Guide to Getting It On: A Self-Published Phenomenon
If there was ever an excuse to self-publish a book, The Guide is a great example of how successful one can be using the practice. After Paul had taken nine years to finish the first draft of what would become The Guide To Getting It On, he wasn’t met with much success as he tried to get his work into circulation. Even a North Carolinian editor of a publishing house wagged his finger, saying that the subject matter would never fly; but ironically, years later, his book is being used as a central resource for sexual education for three college courses in North Carolina. Paul goes on to speak about the many iterations of the book--he even had to cut almost half of his draft to appease editors. He eventually self-published the book and the rest is history. And for the rest on the ever-changing forms and revisions, the book has undergone, tune into the episode. It is a great listen!
Why'd You Write About Sex, Paul?
Money! Paul is a self-professed cash hound. Only joking, of course. In all seriousness, Paul had a very noble reason for choosing to write about sex so prolifically and profoundly: he wanted to help those who have anxiety regarding sex. He is also fascinated by the topic and wanted to provide as much an education for the average person as possible, with calculated dollops of comedic relief and cleverness thrown in for good measure. Pick up a copy of his book if you want to experience it for yourself!
Generation P (Porn)
There are many reasons why Paul’s work is so important: one of the most pressing needs is to teach a younger generation so steeped in porn that the industry is meant for entertainment, and thus should not be taken to be real sex. Because of porn’s ubiquity, more people are getting a degree in porn over a real sexual education. Masturbation isn’t a bad thing. Porn isn’t a bad thing. But to substitute a real anatomical and physiological understanding for one that isn’t real is detrimental to a collective understanding of the sexual realm. To hear more thoughts on the topic, listen along.
Inclusivity is Overrated
Paul talks about how conforming to hyper-politically-correct aspects of society tends to lead to bad writing. He also talks about how he learned early on to stick to the principle of: “write what you know.” The point being that the homosexual community doesn’t want to be patronized. They are strong enough as a community. And because Paul writes predominantly about heterosexual sex, his work is best served not trying to be overly-inclusive in nature. To paraphrase a quote by Kurt Vonnegut: “write for just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, your writing will get pneumonia.”
“Vulva? You Mean The Car?”
During his career, Paul has struggled with knowing when to adopt new language for different editions of his book. Because nomenclature is always changing, and language as a whole is constantly evolving, the need to stay current is incredibly pressing. And that is one of the challenges of writing; he said that he learned the hard way to stop telling people what they should call certain parts of the body. For example, for years he referred to the vulva in his books, but he has since learned that not a lot of people are comfortable with the term. "Vagina" is a much friendlier term. For more on this, tune in!
Is The Guide Safe For Teenagers? You Betcha!
One question that Paul gets asked a lot is if he can write another sex guide solely for teenagers. They are often referred back to the original source. As if teenagers need more abstractions and euphemisms instead of a thorough education on sexual function and health. To learn more why an entire guide devoted to teenagers is unnecessary, stop by and listen for yourself!
About Paul Joannides
Paul Joannides had aspirations to write chemistry books before he turned to the complex world of sex. And thankfully for every fan, reader, and student of his magnum opus, The Guide To Getting It On, he has devoted the majority of his intellectual (and comedic) energy to providing a fresh, nuanced perspective on sexuality. Some call it the “bible of sex” and others have called it the best-assigned reading of the entirety of their college coursework. The superlatives are certainly justified.
Joannides has provided readers 9 editions of the book, all with updated terms, topics, and research to guarantee the text being used in many classrooms nationwide are as up-to-date as possible. His research and writing skills have garnered acclaim from publications such as Playboy, Rolling Stone, and Oprah Magazine. And this isn’t even mentioning the awards he has won for his work, including the Professional Standard of Excellence Award, given to him by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. The list of his accolades could go on!
In addition to his groundbreaking work on The Guide, he has a Psy.D. and is a Training and Supervising Psychoanalyst.
For Videos, Contact Information, Recipes, and Other Resources Regarding Paul Joannides:
Paul’s Website: https://www.guide2getting.com/videos/
Link for his book: The Guide To Getting It On - https://amzn.to/2Dc4jnO
More info:
Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/
Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/
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More info and resources:
Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast
Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast
How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com
The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com
The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com
Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com
Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass