#64 Leading with Dignity with Donna Hicks

"nobody can "demand respect", because respect has to be earned, but everyone can demand to be treated with dignity.. "

Great conversation with Donna as we explore the concept of dignity and how to put it into words and actions. Donna underlines the power of giving a label to profoundly emotional human reactions that are impossible to articulate in difficult/conflict situations. Using the right language legitimises suffering, opens doors for understanding and starts discussions.

Leaders must understand that Dignity is our highest common denominator. We need to acknowledge that we are worthy no matter what, and we that need the emotional infrastructure to ensure that we can survive negative experiences, atone for mistakes and recover from violation and violating others' dignity. 

Humanity/dignity is a level playing field yet sadly shame and fear form the basis of much organisational culture, and there is not necessarily a place for emotions, vulnerability or compassion. Here dignity skills are required for building a safe environment and leaders need to understand how this can help to create a more inclusive workplace, and create a whole new paradigm of empowerment. 

Donna shares her insights, research and experience from working with Dignity and the dignity model with leaders across the globe. 

The main insights you'll get from this episode are :

•  This approach is applicable to and resonates in all arenas; dignity is the highest common denominator of humans, who all want to be treated as something of value - indeed, the ‘D’ in DE&I could just as well stand for dignity as we should all treat each other with dignity.
• Dignity, and the assaulting thereof, gives a label to profoundly emotional human reactions that are impossible to articulate in difficult/conflict situations - using the right language legitimises suffering, opens doors and starts discussions.
• Mandela consciousness – nobody can be stripped of their dignity, we are the guardians of our own dignity and it unifies us. The biggest dignity violators are those who have been violated the most.
• We must understand that we are worthy no matter what; we need the emotional infrastructure to ensure that we survive negative experiences, atone for mistakes and recover from violation and violating others.
• There is a fundamental difference between dignity and respect: we cannot ‘demand’ respect (it should be earned), but we can ‘demand’ to be treated as a human being (we can learn it).
• As dignity-conscious people, we require the 3 c’s: connection to our own dignity, connection to others’ dignity, connection to something greater than ourselves that gives life meaning.
• Leaders must frame these connections for employees for an organisation to have dignity too, but there is often a disconnect between these three connections in organisations - everyone should be able to connect regardless of their position in the organisation.
• There are ten elements of dignity: accepting identity, fairness, independence, recognition, acknowledgement, understanding, safety, accountability, inclusion, benefit of the doubt.
• -       80% of people said safety was the most violated element in the workplace – they don’t speak up when something bad happens, they ‘suck up’ dignity violations and can’t be their authentic selves.
• There are dignity skills required for a safe environment: being able to speak up and give / receive feedback skilfully – humans have a biological aversion to feedback and we must take the shame out of it by using disarming language and practicing delivery.
• We all have blind spots and feedback is a learning opportunity that should be seen as positive, not negative, to help leaders in a workplace move from self-reflection to self-correction.
• Humanity/dignity is a level playing field yet sadly shame and fear form the basis of much organisational culture – problems often stem from bad policy, therefore the executive leadership team must be on board for the dignity conversation.   
• Leadership starts on the inside to be able to help others – leaders must have the courage, strength and vulnerability to ask for and receive feedback to get to the truth.
• Dignity wounds are felt and experienced by the brain in the same way as physical injuries yet are often implicitly allowed – this is a very powerful message and a very persuasive argument.
• Both systemic and interpersonal acknowledgement is vital - organisations have an emotional infrastructure too and reconciliation requires the acknowledgement of suffering, even by a party other than the perpetrator; intervention can also help.
• The latest cutting-edge research is looking at how to (objectively) measure progress in and the presence of dignity in the workplace, as quantification of such metrics is still required.