The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos Friendships: Handling Change, Conflict and Finding New Friends
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Apr 4, 2025 
Bestselling author and happiness expert Gretchen Rubin joins Reshma Saujani, founder of Girls Who Code, to explore the evolution of friendships in adulthood. They discuss the importance of maintaining deep connections during life's transitions and tackle the complexities of navigating conflicts. The duo shares insights on personality types and their influence on friendships, emphasizing the need for intentionality in fostering relationships. They highlight the significant role of adult friendships in modeling positivity for children, even amid modern isolation.
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Making Friends in Midlife
- Dr. Laurie Santos realized she hadn't invested enough in close friendships during a burnout period.
- She decided to actively put effort into making new friends, treating it like a scientific experiment.
Initiate and Schedule
- Initiate plans with potential friends by suggesting activities like coffee dates or movies.
- Overcome scheduling hurdles; people are usually receptive to deepening friendships.
The Liking Gap
- The "liking gap" describes our tendency to underestimate how much others like us.
- This bias hinders forming friendships, as we assume lower reciprocation than reality.
