101. We Belong Together: How Communication Fuels Connection and Community
Aug 8, 2023
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Geoffrey Cohen, a psychology professor and author of 'Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides,' discusses the critical importance of authentic connections for emotional wellbeing. He emphasizes that effective communication is key to establishing these connections. Topics include mastering empathy and emotion, key ingredients for impactful dialogue, the powerful health benefits of belonging, and strategies to cultivate understanding in diverse communities, highlighting how our need for connection shapes our lives.
Authentic connection is essential for a happy and healthy life, and not having it contributes to disease and mortality.
Deep connections and acts of kindness positively impact health and well-being more than a healthy diet and exercise.
Deep dives
Belonging is the Key to Connection and Acceptance
Belonging is the sense of being included and accepted by a larger group. It is both a state and a process, providing a feeling of acceptance and being part of something greater. As social beings, humans have evolved to rely on connections and belonging for survival and thriving. Belonging has numerous benefits, from solving common problems to fostering biological and psychological well-being. Loneliness and disconnection can lead to biological damage and contribute to diseases and early mortality.
The Power of Deep Connections and Acts of Kindness
Deep connections and acts of kindness create a strong sense of belonging and positively impact health and well-being. Quality social connections have a significant effect on longevity, surpassing the impact of a healthy diet and exercise. Engaging in acts of service and kindness reduces inflammation and improves overall well-being. While superficial online connections can provide some sense of belonging, they often lack the same profound benefits as authentic connections. Building deep, meaningful relationships and engaging in acts of service to others have a profound impact on personal health and happiness.
Strategies for Building Belonging and Enhancing Relationships
Building a sense of belonging and enhancing personal relationships involve strategies such as giving and effective communication. Engaging in volunteer activities and acts of service to others fosters a powerful sense of connection. Effective communication involves expressing personal interests and desires while being respectful of others. The simple act of using phrases like 'I think' before expressing personal opinions creates a subjective space for others' points of view, fostering curiosity and common ground. Managers and colleagues can create inclusive environments by inviting people to connect, supporting vulnerability and curiosity, and providing opportunities for meaningful interactions.
When it comes to emotional and physical wellbeing, Psychology professor Geoffrey Cohen says there is one healthy behavior that outweighs the others: authentic connection. “It is really, really important,” he says.
Deep connections with other people are foundational to a happy and healthy life. As Cohen explores in his new book, Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides, achieving a sense of belonging isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s essential. “That sense of connection is so woven into our DNA that if we don't have it, we suffer,” he says. “Not having that sense of connection with other people does great biological damage and seems to be one of the major contributors to disease and mortality."
As Cohen and host Matt Abrahams explore in this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, effective communication is the tool we need to build strong connections with others and enjoy a deep sense of belonging.