Nope! We're Not Monogamous Unmasking Ashley Madison: Why People Cheat & What It Reveals About Modern Relationships, Ep. 105
When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.
This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relationships.
🔍 This episode is NOT about promoting cheating — it’s about understanding why it happens.
🔑 What We Cover in This Episode:
💔 Why People Cheat:
The surprising (and often deeply emotional) reasons people seek connection outside their marriage — and it’s not always about sex.
🧠 Emotional vs. Physical Needs:
Paul shares data from Ashley Madison showing that over 60% of women on the platform report being in sexless or orgasm-less relationships, while many men are searching for emotional validation more than physical release.
📖 The Infidelity Education Gap:
How inadequate sex education and cultural silence around pleasure leave many people feeling unfulfilled and unable to communicate their needs.
❤️ Compassionate Affairs & the Grey Area of Cheating:
Can infidelity actually save a marriage? We explore the idea of "compassionate affairs" and what happens when people cheat because they don’t want to leave — they just want to feel alive again.
😶🌫️ Shame, Secrecy & Communication Breakdown:
How fear of judgment keeps people quiet — and how creating space for honest conversations can prevent betrayal before it happens.
🎧 Listen If You’re Curious About:
- Why infidelity happens — even in loving marriages
- How modern relationships are evolving
- The overlap between non-monogamy, cheating, and unspoken desires
- What it really takes to build lasting intimacy
👂 Whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or just asking bigger questions about love and desire — this episode is for you.
👍 Like, comment, and subscribe for more raw, real conversations about modern relationships, non-monogamy, and emotional truth.
🧡 Ready to explore your own desires with less shame and more clarity? Work with me at www.elleciapaine.com.
📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter
❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/
Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237