TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children TPP 446: Therapist Jude Carn on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Neurodivergence
You may have heard me mention IFS, or Internal Family Systems, in podcast episodes before. My guest today is going to go into much more detail, but briefly, IFS is a powerful and compassionate therapeutic framework for understanding the different “parts” within ourselves—like the inner critic, the protector, the people-pleaser. Through IFS, we can learn how to befriend and heal those parts so we can show up more fully as our true Self.
I’m pretty fascinated by IFS and have seen how transformative it can be in helping people truly heal and find more peace in their lives. In my research, I came across a therapist who not only feels the same but has fully stepped into the intersection of IFS and neurodivergence. So of course, I had to invite them onto the show.
In today’s episode, you’ll meet Jude Carn, a certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapist, international consultant, and passionate advocate for neurodiversity. Jude brings a powerful blend of lived experience and deep professional expertise to their work, and in this episode, we’re exploring how IFS can be a transformative model for neurodivergent individuals and the families who support them.
In our conversation, Jude walks us through the core concepts of IFS, explains how this framework can be especially healing for neurodivergent people—who often grow up feeling misunderstood, judged, or exiled—and shares insights on how IFS offers a respectful, empowering approach to trauma that allows each person to move at their own pace. Jude explains that recognizing and befriending one’s own parts can lead to deeper self-acceptance and a better relationship with ourselves.
IFS has been transformative for me, and it’s really powerful to start from a place of knowing that you are not broken. Imagine what a difference it would make for all our neurodivergent kids to fundamentally know that they are not broken—and that no parts are bad. IFS can be a truly affirming starting point. I hope you get as excited about it as I do after this conversation.
About my guest
Jude Carn is a level 3 certified IFS psychotherapist and approved consultant with the IFS Institute. Jude lives in the UK and works online internationally with some clients and mainly in supporting other therapists through supervision and consultation.
Jude is a late diagnosed AuDHDer and an advocate for the recognition of neurodiversity as part of the human experience, rather than disorder.Jude creates and runs training, conference talks and groups supporting therapists to provide better support and care to their neurodivergent clients.
She is genderqueer, and uses she/they pronouns. She co-hosts a podcast, Queering IFS which sets out other questions taken for granted norms around heteronormativity and neuronormativity as these present themselves in the world of therapy.
Jude lives at home in rural Sussex with her two dogs and long term partner.
You'll learn:
- What IFS (Internal Family Systems) is and how it helps individuals foster deep self-acceptance through exploring inner parts
- Why every coping strategy has a purpose, often driven by protectors working to shield exiled parts that carry pain
- How recognizing and building relationships with internal parts can lead to profound healing and growth
- How IFS allows respectful trauma exploration at one’s own pace
- Why neurodivergent individuals may especially benefit from IFS’s flexible, creative, and affirming approach
- Ideas for how parents and therapists can help their children understand and connect with their parts
Resources:
- No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwart, PhD
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