When Kids Break Stuff: Teaching Accountability Without Shame or Punishment

Your child smashes a TV. Or floods the bathroom. Or writes off the car. What now?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one of parenting’s trickiest questions: should our kids pay for the damage they cause? You’ll hear real family stories, a breakdown of natural vs logical consequences, and a powerful mindset shift that helps kids take ownership without shame — and keeps relationships intact.

KEY POINTS

• Why “natural consequences” aren’t the same as punishment
• How to teach accountability without blame, guilt, or control
• The “OAR vs BED” principle: helping kids own mistakes and grow from them
• When (and how) to talk about reparations or paying for damages
• How to balance compassion, responsibility, and fairness

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Discipline isn’t about punishment. It’s about problem solving — together.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Happy Families Membership
• 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know by Dr Justin Coulson
• Entitled [Upcoming Live Webinar] 

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. When something breaks, pause before reacting.
2. Ask: “What does my child need right now?” — not “What consequence fits this?”
3. Guide your child toward ownership, accountability, and reparation.
4. Keep the relationship more important than the thing.

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