How To Get People To Like You More, Create Connection, & Develop Personal Confidence Ft. Vanessa Van Edwards
Jan 1, 2024
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Vanessa Van Edwards, people expert, shares tangible skills to improve interpersonal communication, including insights on how people work. She discusses charisma, elevating people skills, and effective communication. The podcast explores the importance of listening to intuition, nonverbal cues and energy in dating, and creating memorable interactions. It also discusses taking things slow in relationships, overcoming a victim mentality, and the role of purposeful movements in communication.
Giving unique and specific compliments that reflect the person's individual qualities is more effective than generic compliments.
Understanding and navigating the three levels of connection - basic information, personal concerns, and self-narrative - can lead to deeper connections with others.
Purposeful and controlled nonverbal cues, such as avoiding fidgeting and using deliberate gestures, can enhance charisma and captivate others.
Deep dives
Three Social Hacks to Make People Like You
One social hack is to say 'I was just thinking about you' when you think of someone and let them know why. Another hack is to let someone finish their thought when they get interrupted and show genuine interest. Additionally, giving unique and specific compliments that validate someone in the moment is more effective than stating the obvious or superficial compliments.
The Power of Non-Verbal Cues in Likability
Non-verbal cues such as pointing your feet towards the room, maintaining eye contact, and using open body language can make you more approachable and likable in social settings.
The Importance of Chemical Reactions in Connections
Chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin play a crucial role in creating connections and likability. Engaging in exciting conversations, showing acts of kindness, and creating a sense of belonging can all trigger these chemicals and make interactions more memorable and enjoyable.
Avoiding Obvious and Superficial Compliments
Instead of giving generic compliments, try to give unique and specific compliments that reflect the person's individual qualities, such as their interesting thoughts or their ability to make you laugh. This shows genuine interest and makes the compliment more meaningful.
The Three Levels of Connection
One of the main ideas explored in the podcast is the concept of the three levels of connection. The speaker references research by Dr. Dan McAdams, who found that to truly connect with someone, we need to progress through these three levels chronologically. The first level involves discussing basic information like occupation, hometown, and family status. The second level delves into personal concerns such as goals, motivations, and worries. Finally, the third level revolves around the individual's self-narrative, which is the story they tell themselves about who they are and how they navigate the world. Understanding and navigating these three levels can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections with others.
The Power of Purposeful Nonverbal Cues
Another key point discussed in the podcast is the impact of nonverbal cues on charisma. The speaker highlights the importance of purposeful and controlled movement in conveying charisma and elegance. By avoiding fidgeting, self-touching, and asymmetrical smiles, individuals can exude confidence and captivate others. Purposeful gestures, such as holding up a certain number of fingers to signify key ideas, can enhance communication and engagement. Similarly, nodding in a deliberate and attentive manner can signal agreement and active listening. The speaker emphasizes that even those who possess natural charisma can refine and enhance their nonverbal cues to further boost their impact.
#641: Today, we're sitting down with people expert Vanessa Van Edwards. Vanessa shares tangible skills to improve interpersonal communication and leadership, including her insights on how people work. She has developed a science-based framework for understanding different personalities to improve our emotional intelligence (EQ) and help us communicate effectively with anyone. Today, we sit down for a conversation about charisma and how to connect with people. She gives us tips on how to elevate people skills and what not to do when your goal is connection. We dive into the best ways to communicate, and she shares insight into the top qualities of charismatic people. To connect with Vanessa Van Edwards click HERE To connect with Lauryn Evarts Bosstick click HERE To connect with Michael Bosstick click HERE Read More on The Skinny Confidential HERE To subscribe to our YouTube Page click HERE For Detailed Show Notes visit TSCPODCAST.COM To Call the Him & Her Hotline call: 1-833-SKINNYS (754-6697) This episode is brought to you by The Skinny Confidential. This episode is brought to you by Hiya Health Hiya Health fills in the most common gaps in modern children's diet to provide full-body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they love. Go to hiyahealth.com/skinny to receive 50% off your first order. This episode is brought to you by AG1 If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Go to drinkAG1.com/SKINNY to get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Hinge Hinge is the dating app designed to be deleted. Download Hinge today & find someone worth deleting the app for. This episode is brought to you by MelissaWoodHealth As Melissa says herself, “Don’t trust me, try me.” Visit melissawoodhealth.com and use code SKINNY at checkout to get your first month free off your monthly membership. This episode is brought to you by Primal Kitchen You can find Primal Kitchen products at Target, Walmart, or your local grocery store. Or go to PrimalKitchen.com and use code SKINNY for 20% off your entire order. Produced by Dear Media
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