No One Told Us Rewind: Maintaining Intimacy After Kids with Vanessa & Xander Marin
Maintaining Intimacy After Kids with Vanessa & Xander Marin
Parenthood changes a lot, including your relationship. In this episode, Rachael sits down with New York Times bestselling authors (and real-life couple) Vanessa and Xander Marin to talk about keeping intimacy alive after kids, the infamous “roommate phase,” and why honest conversations about sex matter more than you think.
Vanessa, a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, and Xander, her “regular dude” husband, share how they’ve navigated their own ups and downs while helping millions of couples do the same. They dive into the five conversations from their book Sex Talks, why emotional connection is the real foreplay, and what to do when one partner isn’t feeling ready for intimacy. Plus, they share how couples therapy, online courses, and even their own podcast have helped them, and can help you, build a more connected, playful, and passionate relationship.
Inside this episode:
- The inspiration behind Sex Talks and the five key conversations couples need to have
- How to break out of the “roommate phase” and reconnect
- Tips for navigating mismatched readiness for intimacy
- Why emotional connection is just as important as physical intimacy
- The benefits of couples therapy (and other resources that work)
- How to keep sex and pleasure on the table even when life is hectic
Mentioned in this episode:
- Instagram: @vanessaandxander
- Vanessa & Xander’s Online Courses
- Rediscovering Us: Intimacy and Sex for Parents Course
- Pillow Talks Podcast
- Sex Talks Book
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️
✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨
Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast.
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