No One Told Us

Rachael chats with birth-to-five mental health specialist Michelle Charriere about what it really takes to build (and repair) a secure attachment with your child. They cover the four attachment styles, why repair matters more than perfection, and how to choose childcare that supports connection...plus real talk on daycare and sleep training without the internet drama. And because they couldn’t resist, they end with a little Bravo TV fun, including Michelle’s pick for the best Housewives franchise to start with and a round of “F**k, Marry, Kill” (Bravo edition). Inside this episode: The four attachment styles (and why secure is the goal) How repair builds trust after ruptures Choosing childcare that supports emotional connection Thoughts on daycare and sleep training What to look for in a caregiver Bravo TV picks and guilty pleasures Mentioned in this episode: @babiesandbrains Parenting Through Attachment Course Childcare & Preschool Guide New Sibling Guide If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. Instagram | Tiktok |  Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Maintaining Intimacy After Kids with Vanessa & Xander Marin Parenthood changes a lot, including your relationship. In this episode, Rachael sits down with New York Times bestselling authors (and real-life couple) Vanessa and Xander Marin to talk about keeping intimacy alive after kids, the infamous “roommate phase,” and why honest conversations about sex matter more than you think. Vanessa, a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, and Xander, her “regular dude” husband, share how they’ve navigated their own ups and downs while helping millions of couples do the same. They dive into the five conversations from their book Sex Talks, why emotional connection is the real foreplay, and what to do when one partner isn’t feeling ready for intimacy. Plus, they share how couples therapy, online courses, and even their own podcast have helped them, and can help you, build a more connected, playful, and passionate relationship. Inside this episode: The inspiration behind Sex Talks and the five key conversations couples need to have How to break out of the “roommate phase” and reconnect Tips for navigating mismatched readiness for intimacy Why emotional connection is just as important as physical intimacy The benefits of couples therapy (and other resources that work) How to keep sex and pleasure on the table even when life is hectic Mentioned in this episode: Instagram: @vanessaandxander Vanessa & Xander’s Online Courses Rediscovering Us: Intimacy and Sex for Parents Course Pillow Talks Podcast Sex Talks Book If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. Instagram | Tiktok |  Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bridging Separation at Bedtime with Dr. Gordon Neufeld ⁠@neufeldinstitute⁠ This week Rachael has a very special guest, Dr. Gordon Neufeld, to discuss the importance of attachment and the challenges parents face when it comes to bedtime and sleep. Dr. Neufeld is a renowned authority on child development and you will learn so much in this powerful episode! Here’s what they discuss inside this important episode: How attachment is a fundamental aspect of child development Learn all about Dr. Neufeld's Model of the Six Stages of Attachment The crucial role parents play in providing the necessary conditions for children to grow up and develop their capacity to hold on when apart Why is society so focused on independence?! How quick-fix strategies often overlook the importance of preserving the connection between parents and children Bedtime challenges and separation struggles How parents can support their children by bridging the separation at bedtime And so much more!  Dr. Neufeld has accumulated more than 40 years of experience as a clinical psychologist with children and youth and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, Dr. Neufeld continues to be an international speaker, a best-selling author and a leading interpreter of the developmental paradigm. Dr. Neufeld has a widespread reputation for making sense of complex problems and for opening doors for change. While formerly involved in university teaching and private practice, he has devoted the best part of the last two decades to creating courses for parents, teachers and helping professionals. These courses are offered primarily through the Neufeld Institute – an online educational institute and world-wide charitable organization devoted to applying developmental science to the task of raising children. Dr. Neufeld’s life's work has been to help adults provide the conditions for children to flourish. He is a father of five and a grandfather to seven. Mentioned in this episode: Free resources from Dr. Gordon Neufeld: ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/free/⁠ Online conference with Dr. Neufeld: The Current Crisis of Well-Being: What's Happening to Our Kids? ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/conference-2024/⁠ See presentations and talks from Gordon Neufeld:  ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@neufeldmedia⁠ Follow Dr. Gordon Neufeld's work on: Facebook:⁠ https://www.facebook.com/NeufeldInstitute⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/neufeldinstitute/⁠ Dr. Neufeld’s Book: Hold Onto Your Kids ⁠https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/hold-on-to-your-kids-book/⁠  If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit⁠ heysleepybaby.com⁠ and follow⁠ @heysleepybaby⁠ on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of⁠ Hey, Sleepy Baby⁠, and the host of this podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Challenging Our Individualistic Culture with Erin Spahr ⁠@feminist.mom.therapist⁠ In this episode, Rachael interviews Erin Spahr, a licensed therapist, mother, and maternal mental health advocate. They discuss the intersection of feminism and motherhood, the lack of support and systemic oppression faced by women and parents, and the harmful effects of comparison and external validation on social media. Here’s what they discuss in this episode: The importance of self-compassion and self-trust in navigating motherhood The need for inclusive and identity-affirming care for perinatal individuals Lack of federal paid parental leave in the US and how it is a MAJOR issue for mothers How harmful the societal ideology of individualism and the expectation that mothers should do it all without support is All about the tradwife movement and how it glamorizes an unrealistic and oppressive view of motherhood. Why does feminism have a negative connotation? And so much more! Mentioned in this episode: Erin’s instagram: ⁠@feminist.mom.therapist⁠ Listen to The Feminist Mom Podcast ⁠here⁠  Inclusive Provider Directory website: ⁠https://www.inclusiveproviders.com/⁠  If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit⁠ heysleepybaby.com⁠ and follow⁠ @heysleepybaby⁠ on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of⁠ Hey, Sleepy Baby⁠, and the host of this podcast. ⁠Instagram⁠ |⁠ Tiktok⁠ | ⁠ Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Feeding Toddlers: Finding Joy in Family Meals with Nita and Jessica of ⁠@happyhealthyeaters⁠ Have you ever struggled with picky eating or stressful mealtimes? This is so common- feeding toddlers can be very challenging! In this episode, Rachael speaks with Jessica and Nita, co-founders of Happy Healthy Eaters, ALL about feeding toddlers to make mealtimes more enjoyable! Here’s what they discuss inside this episode: The different challenges of feeding toddlers including “picky” eating or selective eating How and why it is important to trust your child’s eating preferences  How much food should your toddler actually eat? Tips for keeping your child engaged and interested in mealtime Guiding parents on allowing kids to eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full How valuable family meals can be for modeling eating behaviors and passing on cultural traditions Ways to adapt meals to fit each family's schedule and preferences Tips for adapting culturally appropriate meals for babies Facts about the food supply in North America and it’s safety When to seek support from professionals if a child's eating habits are severely challenging or interfering with their growth and development Jessica and Nita are co-founders of Happy Healthy Eaters - a community dedicated to supporting parents in feeling relaxed and confident about feeding their child. They are both Registered Dietitians with a combined 25+ years of education and work. They started Happy Healthy Eaters in 2020 after Nita had her second baby with the hopes of supporting parents through these exciting milestones, minus ALL the misinformation. Their online course - Starting Solids Confidently- launched first and is widely popular and now they have a second course: Feeding Toddlers Confidently- which debuted after more than two years in the making! Mentioned in this episode: Happy Healthy Eaters Website: ⁠https://happyhealthyeaters.com/⁠  Happy Healthy Eaters instagram: ⁠@happyhealthyeaters ⁠ Feeding Toddlers Confidently Course ⁠here⁠ Code for No One Told Us Listeners: HHE15  ⁠How to Keep Your Toddler at the Table⁠  Blog Post: ⁠How to Adapt Recipes to be BLW Friendly⁠ If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit⁠ heysleepybaby.com⁠ and follow⁠ @heysleepybaby⁠ on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of⁠ Hey, Sleepy Baby⁠, and the host of this podcast. ⁠Instagram⁠ |⁠ Tiktok⁠ | ⁠ Website⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Disclaimer: This episode is for entertainment and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please seek immediate care from your physician if you have any concerns about your health. This week, Rachael sits down with occupational therapist Larissa Geleris of @steadyparents to explore a topic that hits home for so many parents: sensory overwhelm. Picture this: you're cooking dinner, the oven fan is on, your baby is crying, your toddler is banging a toy, and your partner is asking you a question. You’re overstimulated, overwhelmed, maybe even raging. Sound familiar? You’re not alone—and this episode is for you. Larissa breaks down what sensory overload really is, how common it is in parenthood, and why it's a completely normal response to an overstimulating environment. She shares her personal story as a pediatric OT who experienced sensory dysfunction after a concussion—and how that shifted her focus to supporting overwhelmed parents just like you. Here’s what they discuss inside this episode: What sensory overwhelm is (and why it’s common in parenting) The “touched out” feeling—why it happens and what to do Quick, practical sensory strategies to use in the moment How to reduce the chances of overwhelm ahead of time Why self-compassion is key to self-regulation How to co-regulate with your child even when you’re dysregulated Tools to help you feel more confident and steady in your day-to-day parenting And so much more! Mentioned in this episode: Larissa’s Instagram: @steadyparents Larissa’s program: Sensing Your Needs in Parenthood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Rachael sits down with literacy expert and beloved educator Beth Gaskill, known by her community as Miss Beth, to talk all about how children learn to read. From the science of reading (yep, it’s a science!) to why fun is essential in the process, this episode is packed with practical strategies for parents who want to support their kids' literacy journeys. They also chat about what it means to "redshirt" kindergarten, how to foster early literacy skills at home, and how to talk to your kids after school in a way that builds connection (not frustration). Plus, Rachael shares her own perspective as a former public school teacher and current parent navigating her child’s first year in the school system. Inside this episode: What the science of reading actually means The Orton-Gillingham approach and multisensory literacy Why reading should be fun (and how to make it that way) How to support your child's learning style Understanding Kindergarten "redshirting" What to say when your child won’t tell you about their day Rachael’s reflections from 10+ years teaching reading Why advocacy matters and how to be your child’s best advocate And so much more! Mentioned in this episode: Big City Readers On-Demand Courses for babies, toddlers, and kids Beth’s podcast: Play on Words Podcast: Sold a Story Follow Miss Beth: @bigcityreaders ✨ For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. Instagram | Tiktok | Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Should parents play with their children? Or should children only play independently? Independent Play is such a polarizing topic! That’s why this week, Rachael and Lizzie Assa, founder of the Workspace for Children, talk all about the importance of play for children and how parents can foster the desire for a healthy balance between playing with children and encouraging independent play. Here’s what they discuss inside this helpful episode: the benefits of independent play, starting from birth! HOW to begin fostering independent play skills the latest debate on social media: Should we play with our kids or not!? practical strategies for parents to create a conducive environment for play independent play is not about specific toys or aesthetics, but about understanding and connecting with each child's unique personality and interests the fear and guilt that parents can feel when their children are playing independently how parents can reduce “I’m bored!” pushback and avoid burnout Tips for using independent play to have a “quiet time” once your child stops napping And so much more! Lizzie is the founder of The Workspace for Children, and has become a go-to strategist for parents seeking guidance in fostering independent play for their children. With a Master’s in early childhood education and a passion for simplicity and consistency in play, she offers practical solutions to avoid burnout and promote healthy development. Lizzie's insights have been featured on The Good Inside Podcast, Parent's Magazine, NY Times Parenting, Time, and The Wall Street Journal. She is set to release her forthcoming book, "But I'm Bored!": The Complete Guide to Independent Play for Kids Ages 1-8, which promises to revolutionize the way parents approach their children's playtime. Mentioned in this episode: Lizzie’s Audio Course and Companion Workbook: ⁠https://twfc.kartra.com/page/sales⁠ Lizzie’s Instagram: ⁠@theworkspaceforchildren⁠ Lizzie’s website: ⁠https://www.workspaceforchildren.com/⁠ If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit⁠ heysleepybaby.com⁠ and follow⁠ @heysleepybaby⁠ on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of⁠ Hey, Sleepy Baby⁠, and the host of this podcast. ⁠Instagram⁠ |⁠ Tiktok⁠ | ⁠ Website⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we're speaking with with Elise Disher, M. Ed all about choosing the right daycare and how to transition your child in as seamlessly as possible. Childcare is such an important topic for parents and we know it can be fraught with worry! Here's what Rachael and Elise discuss inside the episode: Why building relationships and attachment with staff is crucial during the transition into daycare or preschool The benefits of a tailored and gradual approach to separation vs. "drop and go" How parents can advocate for more involvement in the early learning environment and create familiarity for their child Do children actually need daycare or preschool for socialization or social skills development in the first three years? Quality early learning environments- what should they be prioritizing and what should parents look for and ask about when touring? What parents should be focusing on during challenging behaviors and much more! Elise's work is all about promoting relationship-focused, attachment-based practices in early childhood settings. She consults with educators to help them implement these approaches and facilitate the Circle of Security program for both educators and families. She also supports families through key transitions into early childhood settings and provides guidance on navigating behavioral challenges. She is a mom to two little ones, aged 5 and 1, and brings over 18 years of experience working in the early childhood profession as an educator, teacher, director, and consultant. She holds a Master of Education and is a certified Circle of Security facilitator as well as a holistic sleep and wellbeing coach. Her goal is to help build strong, secure connections between children and the adults in their lives, offering the support needed to thrive through the many stages of early childhood. Mentioned in this episode: Elise's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elisedisher.ed/?hl=en Elise’s Courses: Supporting and advocating for a quality orientation support package  Masterclass - The brain behind behaviour- Understanding and responding to emotions and behaviours effectively  Circle of Security Parent Interest Form Website umeplay.com.au Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. ✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 100: Behind the Mic (and the Madness): A Candid Q&A with Rachael & Marley In this very special 100th episode of No One Told Us, Rachael is joined by her most frequent (and most requested) guest, her husband, Marley —for an unfiltered, hilarious, and heartfelt conversation about parenting, partnership, and what it really looks like behind the scenes. They answer listener-submitted questions about co-sleeping, division of labor, marital rough patches, and their decision to have a third child…all while laughing at their own mess and sharing what’s worked (and what definitely hasn’t). Together, they reflect on two years of podcasting, three kids, and how they’ve kept their connection strong (mostly) through the chaos. From the car clutter to the minivan love, and from toddler sleep to dad burnout, nothing is off-limits in this honest, relatable milestone episode. Inside this episode: Why they stopped at three kids and how they knew their family was complete How co-sleeping (with boundaries) worked for them The impact of COVID and postpartum depression on their marriage after baby #2 Why they don’t miss the newborn stage (and also kind of do!) Their very different views on asking for help and involving family Navigating burnout as a stay-at-home parent Pet peeves (yes, they go there) How they handle conflict, chores, and discipline as a team Their take on gentle parenting and when it gets hard Thoughts on intimacy, evenings alone, and rediscovering connection Tips for prepping kids for babysitters, weddings, and overnights away Mentioned in this episode: Episode 86: Reimagining Boyhood with Ruth Whippman Episode 5: How Your Relationship Changes After a Baby with Rachael & Marley Episode 44: Q&A with Rachael and her husband, Marley If you enjoyed this episode, please rate 5⭐️ and write us a review! ⬇️ ✨For sleep support and resources, visit heysleepybaby.com and follow @heysleepybaby on Instagram! 😴☁️🤎✨ Rachael is a mom of 3, founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, and the host of this podcast. Marley is a LCMSW and current Stay at Home Dad (not a HSB employee!) Instagram | Tiktok |  Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices