Sophie Ellis-Bextor: “I’m a healthy amount of delusional!” How to sustain career success
Jan 20, 2025
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Sophie Ellis-Bextor, a singer and songwriter with over 25 years in the music industry, shares her journey from being dropped by her label at 20 to leading her own career. She encourages kindness towards oneself, reminding us that thoughts aren't facts. Sophie discusses her exciting kitchen discos during lockdown, the balance between family life and career, and the importance of resilience against self-doubt. She reveals her fears about past performances while practicing self-forgiveness and embraces the adventure of unexpected opportunities.
Sophie Ellis-Bextor emphasizes the importance of self-kindness and reframing negative self-talk to overcome self-doubt in pursuing career goals.
The conversation highlights how a positive mindset and self-belief, even during setbacks, can sustain long-term success in the music industry.
Discussions on balancing a demanding career and parenting illustrate the necessity of support systems and managing overwhelming daily responsibilities.
Deep dives
Overcoming Overwhelm
The conversation discusses the theme of self-kindness, particularly during overwhelming times. Both speakers share their experiences of feeling scattered and overwhelmed, especially during the month of January. The mention of enjoying small treats, like a Negroni after a long day, highlights the importance of recognizing and celebrating personal victories, no matter how small. This underscores the idea that allowing oneself moments of joy can be a necessary component to managing daily stressors.
Embracing Delusion for Success
A central topic revolves around the idea of being somewhat delusional to achieve one's dreams. The guest recounts how maintaining a positive mindset, despite the challenges faced in the music industry, has contributed to her resilience and longevity in her career. She emphasizes the importance of believing in oneself, even when facing setbacks, and how this mental fortitude can lead to unexpected successes. This perspective resonates with anyone striving to pursue their passions, illustrating that a degree of self-belief can propel one forward.
The Balance of Work and Parenting
The guests candidly discuss the challenges of balancing a demanding career with parenting responsibilities, especially with multiple children. The experience of juggling schedules, remembering school events, and daily logistics illustrates the chaos many parents face. They highlight the necessity of good support systems and the complexities of feeling stretched thin, often while still trying to maintain an engaged relationship with their children. This candid commentary on the struggles of modern parenting provides validation for those feeling similarly overwhelmed.
Navigating Public Performance Anxiety
The episode delves into the pressures of performing in front of large audiences, particularly at prestigious events like the BAFTAs. One guest recounts the anxiety experienced leading up to a performance, illustrating the weight of expectation and self-doubt. The discussion emphasizes how internal narratives can create significant pressure and how reframing these thoughts can mitigate that anxiety. This insightful reflection reinforces the idea that recognizing and challenging negative self-talk is essential for overcoming performance fears.
Finding Joy in Creative Endeavors
The conversation touches on the joy that creative activities, like music, bring to individuals. One guest conveys how her recent experiences, including successful projects and engagements, have reignited her passion for creating music. The theme of embracing creativity, despite the industry's challenges, highlights the intrinsic rewards that come from artistic expression. This ultimately suggests that staying true to one's passions can lead to new opportunities and personal fulfillment, regardless of external pressures.
How loud are the voices in your head that tell you you’re definitely going to screw up that big opportunity? Sophie Ellis-Bextor is trying to make a point of talking to herself more kindly.
In this chat, Fearne and Sophie talk about reminding yourself that your thoughts aren’t facts; sometimes you have to override the voice that says you’re not good enough and just get on with it to prove yourself wrong.
Sophie explains why being dropped by her label at 20 encouraged her to take responsibility for her own career, and offers advice on how not to get distracted by what other people are doing with their lives. What should you tell yourself when you think you’re going to give up on a passion?
They also chat about not worrying where an opportunity will lead you, instead enjoying it as an adventure in its own right. Plus, why was Sophie petrified her BAFTA performance would be awful?
Sophie has announced her biggest ever UK headline tour in May and June 2025!
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