Feeling Chronically Misunderstood as a Woman with ADHD

Sep 16, 2025

Dr. Gilly Kahn, a clinical psychologist and ADHD advocate, dives into the nuanced emotional experiences of women with ADHD. They discuss emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity, revealing how these are often overlooked in mainstream narratives. Gilly highlights how women's ADHD presentations differ, leading to late diagnoses. The conversation also celebrates the strengths that come from sensitivity, creativity, and curiosity while addressing the challenges of misinterpretation in relationships. A must-listen for anyone navigating these complex emotions!

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INSIGHT

Emotions Drive ADHD Behaviors

Emotional dysregulation is central to many ADHD behaviors and often under-recognized compared to distractibility and impulsivity.
Gilly Kahn links impulses and emotional states, urging clinicians to consider feelings behind observed behaviors.

ANECDOTE

Support Dog Moment At A Conference

Gilly describes wanting to be the emotional support dog at a late conference when her brain was fried and she felt overwhelmed.
The story highlights how adults with ADHD suppress impulses yet still experience intense internal restlessness.

INSIGHT

Childlike Curiosity Spurs Creativity

ADHD preserves childlike curiosity and bottom-up attention that supports creativity and novel connections.
Gilly Kahn and Diann Wingert argue this cognitive style fuels innovation and diverse thinking.

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Welcome back to ADHD-ish! In this episode, host Diann Wingert sits down with Dr. Gilly Kahn, author of the recently published Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD. Together, Gilly and Diann tackle often overlooked elements of ADHD, like emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity, shining a light on the daily realities that many women face but rarely see reflected in mainstream ADHD narratives.

Drawing on both personal experiences and clinical insights, Gilly and Diann unpack hot-button topics such as the gaps in diagnostic criteria, why women are often diagnosed later in life, and the profound impact of being emotionally sensitive in a world that expects conformity.

Whether you’ve been told you’re “extra,” struggled with impulsivity, or have battled feelings of not belonging, this conversation will offer validation, strategies, and a healthy dose of humor. Grab your headphones—it’s time to celebrate the quirks, strengths, and unique challenges of being a woman with ADHD.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Emotional Dysregulation is Fundamental (and Overlooked): While most people associate ADHD with distractibility and impulsivity, Diann and Dr. Kahn remind us that emotional sensitivity and reactivity are just as central—especially for women. Emotional outbursts, rejection sensitivity, and the complexities of self-regulation often remain unaddressed but profoundly impact daily life and professional relationships.

Misdiagnosis & Misunderstanding Persist: Many women spend years feeling misunderstood, misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or even personality disorders, before discovering ADHD’s unique presentation in females. Trauma from chronic misunderstanding—whether “big T” or “little t”—leaves lasting scars on self-esteem and career confidence.

Diversity of Thought = Business Advantage: The strengths that come with ADHD—creativity, expansive curiosity, resilience in the face of rejection—aren’t just “superpowers” for individuals. As Dr. Kahn eloquently puts it, teams excel when they have true diversity of thought. Those who think differently spark innovation and challenge the status quo.

Mic Drop Moment:

“You can’t have strengths without also having weaknesses, especially when the strengths are extreme.” – Gilly Kahn, PhD

Guest Bio

Gilly Kahn, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, ADHD advocate, researcher, and author in private practice in Atlanta, GA, USA. Before pursuing a master's in experimental psychology and a doctorate in clinical psychology, Gilly studied creative writing, a passion since childhood, and regularly publishes articles on Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine. Gilly and Diann are both members of the Committed Partners of FindTheADHDGirls.org, an advocacy group for ensuring that future generations of girls with ADHD are not overlooked.

Find Gilly Kahn, PhD, online:

Website: https://www.drgillykahn.com/

Book: Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD by Gilly Kahn, PhD.

Instagram and LinkedIn

ADHD experts mentioned during the episode:

William Dodson

Russell Barkley

Want to know more about ADHD in girls and women? #FindTheADHDGirls.org

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