The apostle Paul wrote one of the most transparent passages about himself in Romans 7.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:15-20 NIV)
Even though the words can sound confusing at first read, we also completely get it, don’t we? This Jekyll and Hyde-type existence when we become Christ-followers, yet still live in sin. This truth is very important to understanding the dilemma of living in the Kingdom of God while also still being a citizen of earth.
What I want to do, I don’t do. The good I really want to do; I can’t seem to do. And I hate it! And I … just … keep… doing … it!
But Paul went on to solve the mystery. Listen …
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:21-25 NIV)
The next time you get frustrated with yourself and your choices—to do bad or to not do good, stop, read, and remember Paul’s teaching here. We all have sin waging war in us, even though we truthfully want to do what is right. Ultimately, the rescue from the moment you are in and from the shame that accompanies it, is found only in Jesus.
Is there a contradiction, something you don’t want to keep doing that seems to keep being a problem in your life right now? Will you surrender it to God and accept His grace?
God knows the struggle you have following Him and yet living in our sinful bodies. His grace is sufficient and He is not disappointed in you.
Let’s pray: “Lord, thank You for salvation that provides the rescue that even allows us to have a choice between sin and righteousness. Lead me, help me to look to You when I struggle with who I am and what I do. Help me to grow in my relationship to You as I make decisions today. As above, so below.”