The Secret to a Thriving Relationship with Dr. Karyn Gordon
Nov 27, 2023
auto_awesome
Dr. Karyn Gordon, expert in marriage coaching and renowned TED Talks speaker, dives deep into the complexities of relationships. She discusses effective communication skills, including active listening, empathy, and assertiveness. Dr. Karyn reveals the formula for attracting successful relationships and explores the concept of the 'right chair' and 'left chair' in relationships. The importance of finding like-minded individuals and dealing with dynamics within a family of origin is also discussed.
Building healthy relationships requires being conscious of the chair mindset and intentionally seeking out middle chair individuals who possess qualities aligned with confidence, support, and encouragement.
Assessing emotional intelligence skills such as communication, attitude, relationship building, decision making, and stress management can help individuals develop intentional relationships that align with the middle chair mindset.
Evaluating potential friends or partners based on their mindset and behavior, and seeking out middle chair connections in various areas of life, fosters healthy, supportive relationships and contributes to personal growth.
Creating networks and communities for individuals with middle chair mindsets can provide spaces for connection, support, professional growth, and a sense of belonging, especially for women who may struggle to find like-minded individuals in certain settings.
Deep dives
The Middle Chair Concept: Shifting Mindsets and Building Healthy Relationships
The middle chair represents a mindset of feeling worthy and enough as you are, without relying on external validation or achievements. It's about striving for excellence rather than perfection, setting goals and accepting your best efforts. Finding middle chair people is important, as they will support, encourage, and champion your success. It may require intentional efforts, such as auditing your relationships and expanding your networks to identify and connect with individuals who exhibit attributes of the middle chair. This mindset shift can positively impact friendships, dating relationships, and even professional networks, leading to healthier and more fulfilling connections.
The Five Core Skills of Emotional Intelligence: C.A.R.D.S.
Building on the middle chair concept, emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in nurturing healthy relationships. The acronym CARDS represents the five core skills: Communication, Attitude and Goal Setting, Relationship Building, Decision Making and Time Management, and Stress and Emotion Management. By assessing these skills, individuals can identify areas of strength and areas that require growth. This self-awareness allows for intentional development and fosters the ability to attract and maintain relationships that align with the middle chair mindset.
The Impact of Chairs on Friendships and Relationships
The concept of chairs extends to friendships and relationships. People tend to be attracted to those who sit in a chair similar to their own, whether it's the left chair (insecure, inferior) or the right chair (arrogant, superior). Building healthy relationships requires being conscious of the chair mindset and intentionally seeking out middle chair individuals who possess qualities aligned with confidence, support, and encouragement. Conducting a friendship audit can help in evaluating existing relationships and adjusting the level of intimacy based on shared values and alignment.
The Importance of Intentionality and Patience in Finding Middle Chair Connections
Finding middle chair connections requires being intentional and patient. It's akin to dating, where individuals need to assess potential friends or partners based on their mindset and behavior. This involves seeking out like-minded individuals in various areas of life, such as work, community, or shared interests. Evaluating how people respond to success, their reliability, and their ability to champion one another is crucial. The process may take time, but building a network of middle chair individuals fosters healthy, supportive relationships and contributes to personal growth.
Creating Communities and Masterminds for Middle Chair Mindsets
Recognizing the need for meaningful connections and community, intentional efforts can be made to create networks and communities for individuals with middle chair mindsets. This is especially pertinent for women who may experience loneliness and struggle to find like-minded individuals in certain settings. Initiatives like women entrepreneur masterminds or other purpose-driven groups can provide spaces for individuals to connect, support, and learn from others who share similar values and mindsets. These communities can offer encouragement, professional growth, and a sense of belonging for individuals striving for middle chair connections.
Choosing Middle Chair Relationships
The podcast explores the importance of choosing relationships with individuals who make you feel better about yourself. The speaker emphasizes the significance of finding people who sit in the middle chair, as they offer support, positivity, and inspiration. It is suggested that evaluating how one feels after interacting with someone can serve as a litmus test to determine the quality of a relationship. The speaker also mentions the role of spouses in assessing friendships and how their feedback can provide valuable insights.
Transforming Relationships and Dealing with Conflict
The podcast delves into strategies for transforming relationships and navigating conflict. The importance of getting oneself into the middle chair is highlighted, focusing on personal growth and mindset development. By taking charge of one's own mindset and goals, individuals can inspire their partners to follow suit. However, if a partner is uninterested or resistant, open and honest conversations are recommended. The podcast also touches upon the misconceptions about therapy and suggests alternative approaches such as using TED talks or books to initiate meaningful discussions. Communication techniques, particularly assertiveness and setting boundaries, are considered essential for addressing conflict and maintaining healthier relationships.
Dr. Karyn Gordon is here so hold onto your seats because you're in for a treat! Dr. Karyn’s expertise extends into the realms of marriage coaching, business coaching, and she's the proud holder of one of the top 10 TED Talks of 2022, plus a Wall Street Journal best-selling book titled "The Three Chairs." But what exactly do those three chairs signify? You're about to find out!
Dr. Karyn dives deep into the complexities of relationships and seeks answers to the age-old questions: Why are relationships so challenging, and how can we make them smoother? Join Dr. Mindy and Dr. Karyn as the explore this fascinating discussion on relationships, touching on everything from intimate connections to friendships and business dynamics. They discuss effective communication skills, including active listening, empathy, and assertiveness. And stick around right to the end when Dr. Karyn reveals the formula for fostering and attracting successful relationships.
You can save 30% off your first subscription order of Ketone-IQ at https://HVMN.com/PELZ
To view full show notes, more information on our guests, resources mentioned in the episode, discount codes, transcripts, and more, visit https://www.drmindypelz.com/210.
Dr. Karyn Gordon is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author and CEO of DK Leadership Inc., a global leadership coaching company that serves international giants like Coca Cola and Magna International. Her TED Talk, ranked among the World’s Top #10 most popular in 2022, with nearly 6 million views. Holding a Doctorate in Marriage and Family and additional leadership certifications, she has spoken to millions of individuals over her 25-year career, including CEOs, family businesses, leaders, entrepreneurs, professionals, and parents. Dr. Karyn is also a media personality and has consulted for prominent platforms such as Good Morning America, LIVE With Kelly & Mark, The New York Times, Forbes, Entrepreneur, and Inc. Her leadership book, "The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance & Engagement," reached #2 on the Wall Street Journal & USA Today Bestselling charts. Dr. Karyn’s mission is to develop great leaders at work and home, earning her a nomination for the 2022 Canadian Entrepreneur Award.
