Pop Culture Happy Hour Sabrina Carpenter and the Embarrassing Truth of Dating Men
13 snips
Jan 8, 2026 
Joining the discussion is Hazel Sills, an NPR Music editor and commentator known for uncovering pop music trends in cultural contexts. She dives deep into 'heteropessimism' in contemporary pop, connecting the struggles of dating men with broader societal shifts. With insights from artists like Sabrina Carpenter and Olivia Dean, Hazel highlights how songs reflect changing views on romance and intimacy. She contrasts the snark of Carpenter with Dean's earnestness, emphasizing the evolving expectations women have in relationships amidst cultural commentary.
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Heteropessimism Defined
- "Heteropessimism" names a cultural trend where women express fatigue or embarrassment about heterosexuality.
- Hazel Sills links the term to 2019 coinage and current pop songs reflecting that mindset.
Pop Songs Demand Relationship Equality
- Contemporary songs shift from simple "boys are trash" lines to calls for equality and boundary-setting in relationships.
- Hazel Sills argues women now foreground unequal labor and demand partners change rather than just issuing breakups.
Education Shapes Dating Expectations
- Greater female education and economic independence make women choosier and aware of relationship inequities.
- Sills sees pop music reflecting this radicalized sense of what healthy partnerships should look like.