The Tween Phone Battle: Holding the Line Without Losing Connection

“Everyone else has one!” If you’ve ever heard this plea from your tween about getting a smartphone, you’re not alone. In today’s Q&A episode, Justin and Kylie unpack one dad’s dilemma: a 12-year-old desperate for a phone, parents holding out until Year 8, and the daily battles in between. You’ll hear why one big conversation won’t work, how to keep your child engaged without caving, and three practical strategies to hold the line without losing connection.

KEY POINTS

• Why no single conversation will “solve” the phone debate
• The 3 E’s of effective discipline (Explore, Explain, Empower)
• How to use outside voices (content creators, school assignments) to make the case
• Why it helps to talk with other parents — your child isn’t always “the only one”
• The ongoing reality: even once they get a phone, the battles don’t stop

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“You don’t just get compliance when kids understand your decision — you get buy-in.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson
• Content creators: Jonathan Haidt, Official Herd, Dr Brad Marshall (“The Unplugged Psychologist”), Freya India
• [Study] Blocking mobile internet on smartphones improves sustained attention, mental health, and subjective well-being
• The Heads Up Alliance - Australian families delaying social media and smartphones for children, together
• Wait Until 8th 
• Rebecca Sparrow's FREE download "Beginner Phones for Tweens and Teens"

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Keep the conversations ongoing — not one-and-done.
2. Use external voices and resources to reinforce your message.
3. Encourage your child to research and present arguments for and against screens.
4. Connect with other parents to reality-check the “everyone else has one” claim.
5. Focus on understanding and buy-in, not just rules.

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