Start Your Engines Ep.7: Is Your Wife Being Held Back by the 'Duty Sex' Message?
Apr 30, 2020
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This podcast explores the harmful message that women NEED to have sex regularly or their husbands will stray. They discuss the negative impact of this message on wives and offer advice for husbands on promoting healthy sexual relationships. They also tackle the topics of porn, consent, and the effects of pornography on women's safety and affirmation. The hosts emphasize the importance of open communication, trust, and mutual consent in sexual relationships.
38:39
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Quick takeaways
Husbands should prioritize mutual pleasure and create a safe environment to help wives feel comfortable exploring their desires.
Husbands should challenge harmful societal expectations around sex, focusing on emotional connection and dispelling the notion of obligation sex.
Deep dives
Importance of Communication and Selflessness in a Sexual Relationship
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the importance of open and honest communication in addressing issues of duty and obligation in a sexual relationship. They emphasize the need for husbands to be patient, selfless, and understanding, making sex about mutual pleasure rather than a one-sided obligation. By creating a safe and pressure-free environment, husbands can help their wives feel more comfortable and free to explore their desires. The hosts also highlight the significance of allowing wives the agency to say no, both before and during sexual encounters, as a key aspect of consent and fostering a healthy sexual relationship.
Challenging Harmful Messages and Expectations
The hosts address the negative messages and expectations surrounding sex that women often internalize from society, religious teachings, and media. They highlight the damaging effects of the obligation sex message, which can lead to fear, guilt, and a distorted view of intimacy. Encouraging husbands to challenge these beliefs, the hosts suggest focusing on emotional connection, prioritizing pleasure for both partners, and dispelling the notion that sex is solely about a man's physical release. By fostering trust, understanding, and open dialogue, husbands can support their wives in breaking free from these harmful expectations and enjoying a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
Empowering Wives to Say No and Setting Boundaries
The podcast emphasizes the importance of giving wives the agency to say no to sexual intimacy without repercussions or guilt. By offering reassurance and actively vocalizing their acceptance of a partner's boundaries, husbands can help create an environment of safety and trust. The hosts also suggest creating open conversations about sexual needs, desires, and resources to foster deeper understanding of each other's perspectives. Additionally, they discuss the idea of taking breaks from intercourse or climax-centric activities to alleviate pressure and create space for exploration without expectations. These strategies empower wives to feel more in control, leading to more genuine and enjoyable intimacy.
Addressing Coercion, Manipulation, and Building Trust
The podcast delves into the issue of coercion and manipulation within a sexual relationship. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-reflection for husbands to identify any behaviors that may contribute to these dynamics. They stress the need to shift the focus from fulfilling personal needs to prioritizing the emotional well-being and pleasure of both partners. Building trust involves showing patience, selflessness, and understanding during intimate moments and throughout the marital relationship. The hosts also discuss the significance of consent and the power of giving wives the freedom to say no, even in the middle of sexual encounters. By addressing harmful beliefs and focusing on mutual respect and communication, husbands can work towards fostering a healthier and more fulfilling sexual relationship.
We have found the the message that "women NEED to have sex regularly or else their husbands will stray" Is very harmful to their enjoyment of sex. But we also found that they often don't get that message from their husbands. Their are a lot of great husbands out their whose wives are still struggling because they have heard this message at church or in books or from media .So let's talk about how you can replace that message with something better and help your wife find sex sexy again. Also, Connor comes on to talk with Keith about porn and with Rebecca about consent. They talk about the harmful messages that arise around these issues and how we can combat them. Is Sex an Entitlement? Top 10 Effects of Porn on the Brain Porn and Sex Trafficking 4 Stages of Porn Recovery Marital Rape Podcast