The Daily Motivation How to Stop Repeating Unhealthy Love Patterns | Sheleana Aiyana
Dec 9, 2025
Sheleana Aiyana, a relationship teacher and author, dives into breaking unhealthy love patterns. She highlights the importance of self-awareness in recognizing the subconscious triggers from past traumas. Aiyana shares practices like creating 'shadow vows' for accountability and conducting an annual review of relationship commitments. She discusses the detrimental effects of social media on modern relationships and reflects on how childhood wounds shape feelings of unworthiness. Her insights emphasize vulnerability and mutual support as keys to conscious relationships.
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We Choose Partners To Rehearse Old Stories
- We unconsciously seek relationships that replay old wounds to either prove or resolve our internal stories.
- Without mutual self-awareness, couples simply reenact their templates and blame each other instead of healing.
Team Up To Heal Relationship Patterns
- Do the healing work together by naming what each partner will own and asking, "Do you want to do this together?"
- Use shared awareness to team up on repair instead of repeating the cycle alone.
Shadow Vows At Their Wedding
- Sheleana and Ben created "shadow vows" that named their unhealed parts and promised ownership in front of their community.
- They revisit these vows annually to remove completed items and add new work.
