ERP 360: How Being “Difficult” Can Assist Growth & Development In Relationship — An Interview With Tonya Lester

Feb 21, 2023

56:45

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Being difficult in relationships is a topic that is often misunderstood and shunned as the term "difficult" is usually associated with negativity, but what if it could be a catalyst for growth and development in our relationships?

In this episode, we'll challenge the common notion that smooth sailing is the ideal in relationships, and instead, explore how speaking up, having honest conversations, and being vulnerable can lead to deeper emotional intimacy and stronger relationships. Join us as we dive into the power of being "difficult" and how it can assist in the growth and development of our relationships.

Tonya Lester is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, private psychotherapist, Psychology Today contributor and author. For over 16 years, Tonya has taught couples and individuals how to manage their minds and emotions, develop relationships that are mutually respectful and supportive and approach decision-making and communication with clarity and courage. She believes in starting where you are, experimenting with new ways of being and focusing all of your attention on what you can do now, as opposed to fixating on what is currently out of reach.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's

In this episode

04:55 Understanding how unspoken resentment impacts long-term relationships.

8:35 What is good about being difficult?

14:13 How to navigate difficult conversations in relationships.

20:18 Tonya encourages co-creation and mindfulness in relationships.

25:34 Communicating effectively in relationships and overcoming gender roles and expectations.

28:57 Honesty, vulnerability, and setting boundaries in relationships.

34:13 Overcoming gendered paradigms in relationships through assertiveness.

39:46 Three key elements to navigating difficult conversations in relationships.

45:40 Finding the middle ground between shame and grandiosity.

51:27 Tonya’s vision for society: Building a world of collaborators.