On Point | Podcast

The strange psychology behind fawning

20 snips
Sep 19, 2025
Ingrid Clayton, a clinical psychologist and trauma therapist, delves into the peculiar phenomenon of fawning—an instinctual response where one pleases others to ensure safety. She shares her own experiences and discusses how this behavior, often rooted in relational trauma, leads to identity loss and cultural stigma. By highlighting therapeutic strategies to reclaim personal safety and reframe fawning, Ingrid offers valuable insights on transforming this survival mechanism into a path for healing.
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INSIGHT

Fawning As A Safety Strategy

  • Fawning is privileging someone else's needs over your own to preserve relational safety.
  • It arises where livelihoods or status depend on pleasing a more powerful person.
INSIGHT

Fawning Feels Compelled, Not Chosen

  • Fawning feels like you have no choice and acts to preserve safety rather than reflect preference.
  • You often praise or appease because the body senses threat and seeks survival.
INSIGHT

Fawning As A Hybrid Trauma Response

  • Fawning is a hybrid trauma response related to fight, flight, and freeze but oriented toward appeasement.
  • It preserves safety at a cost: erosion of self and values over time.
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