The skills supercommunicators use, which you can learn too
Feb 24, 2024
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Discover the essential skills of supercommunicators, including asking deep questions and active listening. Explore the impact of hometown memories and multiculturalism. Navigate identity and insecurities with insights from a CIA agent's struggles. Learn effective communication strategies for understanding and connection, emphasizing genuine engagement for authentic conversations.
Super communicators ask more questions and show genuine interest in connecting with others.
Matching conversational styles and asking 'why' questions facilitate understanding and bridge divides.
Deep dives
Charles Duhigg's Communication Struggles and Realization
Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, faced challenges transitioning to a managerial role due to poor communication skills. He discovered his inability to connect with colleagues and manage effectively, leading him to delve deeper into communication practices. Through interactions with CIA recruiters and NASA psychologists, he identified 'Super Communicators,' individuals with learnable skills rather than innate traits.
Super Communicators' Key Traits and Skills
Super communicators excel by asking 10 to 20 times more questions than average individuals, displaying active listening through follow-up inquiries and demonstrating genuine interest in connecting with others. Laughing to signify understanding and using 'looping for understanding,' where one paraphrases and confirms comprehension, are pivotal skills. Their ability to convey a desire for connection sets them apart.
Matching Principle in Communication
The 'matching principle' involves identifying the conversational context, engaging with emotional, practical, or social aspects, and reciprocating communication styles. Charles Duhigg learned the importance of aligning conversation types, realizing how mismatched conversations impede understanding. Matching fosters mutual comprehension and connection.
Navigating Difficult Conversations and Deep Questions
Enhancing communication amidst differing viewpoints involves asking 'why' questions to prompt deeper insights. Addressing contentious topics, like Israel and Gaza, requires understanding personal significances and fostering genuine dialogue. By avoiding labeling and engaging in good faith exchanges, individuals can bridge divides and cultivate mutual understanding.
What does working for the CIA, navigating hot button topics and talking to teenagers all have in common? They're situations that supercommunicators excel at.
Today, we explore how you can become a supercommunicator too.
In this episode we touch on a previous story, Introversion vs Extroversion. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love that one too.
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