Soft Skills Engineering

Episode 478: Can you coach self-awareness and my boss is an llm

38 snips
Sep 15, 2025
Can self-awareness be coached effectively in a professional setting? The hosts unpack the challenges of guiding team members who struggle to grasp their growth areas despite persistent feedback. They also tackle the pitfalls of over-relying on AI in startups, humorously narrating the frustrations of an engineering team juggling unrealistic demands. With insights into the balance of enthusiasm for tech and practical decision-making, the conversation is as enlightening as it is entertaining.
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ADVICE

Give Direct, Compassionate Feedback

  • Ask permission and deliver blunt, compassionate feedback about repeated issues to break defensiveness.
  • Ask the engineer why they keep getting the same feedback and suggest specific process changes like peer review before PRs.
INSIGHT

Denial Often Meets An Unspoken Need

  • People who deny problems often use denial as a defense to protect unmet needs or avoid painful self-reflection.
  • Identifying what they gain by not acknowledging issues can reveal alternate ways to meet that need and enable change.
ADVICE

Fix The Process, Not Just The Output

  • Look for concrete process changes the person can adopt, like soliciting peer review before opening PRs.
  • Track those changes as manager-visible signals of improvement rather than waiting for vague self-awareness.
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