Positive Disintegration Through the Neurodivergent Mirror
In episode 27, Chris and Emma were joined by Dr. Tracy Winter, an ICF-credentialed coach with a PhD in Human Development. In her coaching practice, she works with neurodivergent adults and specializes in the gifted / 2e population. We talked about Tracy’s dissertation research on gifted adults “being seen,” where most of her participants fell into two groups: they were not seen as gifted, or they were mis-seen in a way that was not aligned with their self-perceptions.
We discuss the importance of “mirroring”—finding yourself reflected in others—and the loneliness that can happen when we are not seen for our authentic selves, even when we have a support network around us. Tracy holds up a “flat mirror” with clients to help them see themselves accurately, and we talk about how devastating it feels when neurodivergent and gifted people only see ourselves in a distorted “funhouse mirror” if they cannot find people like themselves to connect with.
Tracy talks to us about overexcitability in neurodivergent clients, and what it’s like to work with the Theory of Positive Disintegration in her practice. She shares other developmental models she finds helpful, including Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory of Development and Cook-Greuter's Constructive Developmental Theory in her work, along with classic theorists such as Erikson.
We talk about the difference between a coach and a therapist, what you can expect from an ICF-certified coach, and the importance of an authentic relationships in both clinical work and coaching. We also discuss the activation of dynamisms in clients, and the benefits and pitfalls of nudging someone into disintegration, and the importance of “meeting people where they are” when talking about experiencing a disintegration—whether that be with a client or with a loved one in a relationship.
Links from this episode:
Nerd Coach (Tracy’s Website)
Neurodiversity Coaching Academy
Download Tracy’s dissertation from the Media tab of her website
Tracy’s episode on Unleash Monday
Emma’s Triangle of Loneliness video
Chris’s paper on the Inner Experience of Giftedness [PDF download]
Connect with us!
Positive Disintegration on Substack
Visit the Dabrowski Center website
The Positive Disintegration YouTube Channel
Adults with Overexcitabilities group on Facebook
Dabrowski Center and Positive Disintegration Podcast Community on Facebook
The Tragic Gift blog by Emma
Email us at positivedisintegration.pod@gmail.com
Please consider supporting the podcast to help fund this work through the Dabrowski Center, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.
Find Positive Disintegration Merch
If you enjoyed this episode on Apple or Spotify, please remember to click on the stars and leave a rating or write a review. Thank you! <3
Please share with others who would appreciate learning about Positive Disintegration.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.positivedisintegration.org/subscribe