What is the recipe for developing deeper, more intimate relationships? 

Breaking this all down in his new book, The Mindful Path to Intimacy, is couples therapist Dr. James Cordova, who talks to Yael about how true intimacy happens when vulnerability is met with warmth and acceptance and feeling safe being your real self with someone. 

You’ll hear some eye-opening research, including his “relationship checkup” method and how marriage therapy has evolved to focus on both behavior and acceptance. 

If you are looking for ways to strengthen your relationship emotionally and physically—such as staying mindful, paying attention to one another, sexual intimacy, and making check-ins a regular habit—James has some extremely practical suggestions for you!

Listen and Learn: 

• The true meaning of intimacy
• Balancing change and acceptance in relationships
• How can we stay open and kind when we hear something we don’t want to?
• How mindfulness can transform intimacy
• The power of vulnerability and compassion in the face of conflict and how understanding your partner leads to a deeper connection
• Why our ancient instincts for self-protection clash with modern relationship needs
• How relational flexibility can transform your relationships
• How do daily hurts and unaddressed issues lead to distance in your relationship?
• The role "marital checkups" play in keeping intimacy alive and preventing relationship drift
• Why is sexual intimacy such a vulnerability trigger in relationships, and how can you address it?
• Using the "stop, drop, and roll" practice to stay open and connected

Resources: 

● Books: 

The Mindful Path to Intimacy by James Cordova 

Reconcilable Differences by Neil Jacobson, Andrew Christensen, and Brian Doss

● More About James:https://www.clarku.edu/faculty/profiles/james-cordova/

● Connect with James on Social Media

LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-cordova-1b803316a

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrJamesCordova/

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jamesvcordova/

About James Cordova: 

Dr. James Córdova is a professor at Clark University and a practicing couples therapist. Dr. Córdova’s work strives to better understand the processes that affect marital/couples health and deterioration, particularly those processes that promote greater relationship, mental and physical health. His work helps to build empirically testable approaches to therapy that foster intimacy, acceptance, and motivation for adopting healthy relational practices. Dr. Córdova’s current projects include (1) the Relationship Checkup, a relationship health checkup designed to help partners maintain healthy relationships for a lifetime, (2) observing the process of intimacy development in couples’ interactions, and (3) studying the role of emotional skillfulness in relationship health. He has a few terrific books including The Story of Mu, The Marital Check-Up, and his brand new book, The Mindful Path to Intimacy: Cultivating a Deeper Connection with Your Partner.

Related Episodes:

• 61. Becoming Our Best Relationship Selves By Identifying Core Values and Schemas with Avigail Lev
• 92. Marriage in Midlife: The Rough Patch with Daphne de Marneffe
• 179. How to Be an Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo
• 248. Let’s Talk about Sex & Intimacy with Zoe Kors

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