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Beyond Success

The Missing Ingredient for Lasting Attraction: Investment (It's Not What You Think)

Jan 31, 2025
28:38

Does your relationship feel like it's dying a slow death? The passion is gone. The original spark has been extinguished. And resentment for your partner may even be surfacing. 

Here’s the truth: This is a “stress test” almost all relationships go through. But if you’re a people pleaser, then, well, this is usually where your relationship goes to die. 

Why?

Because people pleasers see the signs of a relationship dying and unknowingly double down on the exact things that drove the relationship to the graveyard in the first place. This only suffocates it faster. 

So, how do you handle this relationship problem in a way that fosters attraction, commitment, and enjoyment in your relationship instead of smothering it? 

In today’s show, I reveal three key steps to reignite the spark in your relationship, share the missing ingredient that creates lasting attraction, and show you how to rebuild a more fulfilling relationship. 

Listen now. 

Show Highlights Include:

  • The truth behind why your relationship feels hollow (hint: the missing piece isn’t love) (0:35) 
  • How ignoring this fact of human nature sets you up for mediocrity in your relationships, career, and personal life (1:04) 
  • Why the "Effort Justification Theory” can reveal why a relationship feels empty—and give you a roadmap for reigniting the spark (2:27)  
  • Here’s the real reason why attraction fades in a relationship (and why it has nothing to do with how attractive you are) (5:33) 
  • The secret emotional ingredient for creating authentic, passionate feelings in any relationship (8:10) 
  • Ever wonder why so many marriages end in divorce? These are the 2 major causes (8:37)
  • Why people pleasers tend to resent their partners when they neglect this (12:21) 
  • How willpower suffocates emotional ties and cripples relationships (14:44) 

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery 

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