Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships 534 - When We're Asked to Change (and When It's Okay to Refuse)
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Jun 17, 2025 This discussion dives into the emotional challenges that arise when partners request changes, big or small. It highlights the balance of individual comfort and relationship dynamics while navigating these requests. The speakers share personal stories and practical strategies for fostering open dialogue and emotional honesty. They also examine the ethics of asking for change, particularly in non-monogamous relationships, encouraging self-awareness and boundary-setting. The conversation emphasizes that change can lead to mutual growth when approached constructively.
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Personal Stories of Change Requests
- Emily Matlack shares two personal stories of being asked to change by partners: one about monogamy and one about joking less frequently. - These examples illustrate both a major and a smaller behavioral change in relationships.
Gender Differences in Change Requests
- Research shows women generally ask for increased emotional connection and practical support, while men more frequently ask for more sex. - Both genders want similar changes but often differ in the amount and emphasis.
Emotional Impact of Change Requests
- Change requests often trigger defensive, shameful, or sad feelings rather than joy when received. - Negative emotions dominate because change can feel like a fundamental threat to identity or relationship.