In this engaging discussion, John Onwuchekwa, a pastor and author, opens up about his profound journey through grief, including the losses he faced with his brother and struggles with infertility. He shares practical insights on coping with grief, emphasizing the importance of personal emotions and the power of community. The conversation also touches on navigating faith and mental health, revealing the vital role of friendship during tough times, and reimagining church community for deeper connections.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
John's Loss and Breakdown
John Onwuchekwa's brother passed away suddenly before his church launch, leading him to suppress his grief.
The following year was the worst of his life, culminating in a breakdown where his friends intervened.
insights INSIGHT
Pastoral Responsibility and Grief
Kaleb asks John about the emotional toll of pastoral responsibility and grief.
John admits his struggles affected his marriage and mental health, emphasizing the unrealistic expectation of holding everything together.
question_answer ANECDOTE
A Difficult Year
John describes the difficult year following his brother's death, compounded by infertility and church launch struggles.
He highlights the strain on his marriage, sharing an instance where he told his wife to leave during an argument.
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Francis Weller's "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" offers a profound and compassionate exploration of grief and its transformative potential. Weller moves beyond conventional understandings of grief, delving into its multifaceted nature and its capacity to lead to personal growth and deeper self-understanding. He emphasizes the importance of embracing and honoring our sorrows, rather than suppressing or avoiding them. The book explores various forms of grief, including the loss of loved ones, relationships, and dreams, and provides guidance for navigating these challenging experiences. Weller's work encourages readers to view grief not as an obstacle but as an opportunity for profound transformation and connection to the human experience.
Orthodoxy
G.K. Chesterton
In 'Orthodoxy,' G.K. Chesterton presents a compelling defense of Christianity, arguing that it is the most rational and fulfilling worldview. The book is a personal and philosophical journey where Chesterton explains how he came to embrace traditional Christianity after exploring various heresies and philosophies. He compares Christianity with other worldviews, highlighting its unique ability to balance paradoxes and provide a coherent explanation of human nature and the world. Chesterton's writing is characterized by his wit, humor, and profound insights, making the book both intellectually stimulating and engagingly readable[1][2][4].
What do you do when life falls apart—and you're still expected to lead, provide, and hold it all together? In this episode, Pastor John Onwuchekwa shares his story of unexpected loss, spiritual exhaustion, and the slow, grace-filled process of healing. Through raw moments of grief, relational strain, and a sabbatical that reshaped him, John shows why grief isn’t something to get over—but something we have to learn to carry.
Together, John and Kaleb explore how Scripture, friendship, and deep honesty help Christian men navigate sorrow without losing hope. If you’re in a season of loss—or walking with someone who is—this conversation offers comfort, language, and direction.
What You’ll Learn:
Why grief isn't linear—and why it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong
The difference between honesty and hopelessness
How grief affects marriage, friendships, and spiritual rhythms
Why isolation is more dangerous than tragedy
How Ecclesiastes and the resurrection became anchors for John’s healing
What to do (and not do) when walking with someone who's grieving
Scriptures References: Ecclesiastes – Finding hope in hard truths 1 Thessalonians 4; 1 Corinthians 15 Acts 1 Isaiah 53 John 11
Episode Resources: 1. Book: We Go On by John Onwuchekwa – Available at major booksellers and wegoontour.com 2. National Tour: We Go On Tour — A live evening of music, film, comedy, and teaching on grief and hope-wegoontour.com 3. Sponsor: Dwell Bible App -dwellbible.com/dadtired Invite Jerrad to speak: https://www.jerradlopes.com Read The Dad Tired Book: https://amzn.to/3YTz4GB
Dad Tired 
