IFS Talks

The Q&A Session with Martha Sweezy

May 22, 2025
Martha Sweezy, an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and IFS expert, shares her insights in a live Q&A session. She tackles the complexities of shame and guilt, emphasizing their development and impact on identity. The discussion uncovers the emotional dynamics between these feelings and therapeutic relationships, especially for trauma survivors. Sweezy also explores how social media heightens youth anxiety and the intergenerational nature of shame in different cultures. Her compassionate approach promotes understanding and healing.
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ADVICE

Navigating Shameful Exiles

  • Always engage protectors first and get their permission before accessing exiled shame parts.
  • Persistently negotiate with protectors and reassure them they are "off the hook" to safely access vulnerable parts.
ADVICE

Soften Critical Parts

  • Speak directly to critical or shaming parts and validate their protective role.
  • Challenge them kindly to consider alternatives without trying to control or argue.
INSIGHT

Early Development of Shame

  • Shame can be pre-verbal, arising even in infancy through lack of attunement and exploitation.
  • Shame is the experience of being unseen, unvalued, and used.
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