Life Coaching with Christine Hassler 51: Dealing with FOMO and Feeling Not Enough – Especially After a Breakup with Emma
This episode is for anyone who feels like they are missing out, they are being left behind, they are not enough or they do not belong.
Today’s caller, Emma, is feeling left out and resentment towards friends who are continuing their relationships with her ex after their breakup. Her frustrations are bringing up old issues she has been carrying around for a long time. We uncover the constant moving she went through as a child is still a core issue for her.
It’s important to remember not to minimize things from your past. As a human, there are things you have gone through that are challenging. Things that happen can create certain belief systems and misunderstandings that perpetuate patterns, behaviors and reactions you don’t like.
Resentment and anger protect us from our deeper feelings. It’s easier to feel mad about something than it is to feel the hurt of being left out. We all want to feel connected and that we belong. Feeling separate in any way is painful and it reinforces the core misunderstanding we are separate from God, separate from the universe or separate from each other. Healing that wound allows us to feel we are not separate and to feel we are connected.
If you have standards or conditions about what it takes for you to be good enough, know that you are good enough just the way you are.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
- How often do you experience FOMO (fear of missing out)? Have you just gone through a breakup and are having a hard time with all the transitions and all the loss?
- Are you having challenges with sharing friends after a breakup? Do you want your friends to pick sides?
- Do you feel the pressure to pick sides if you ARE the friend of a couple who recently broke up?
Emma's Question:
Emma is having difficulty releasing her emotions, which are triggered by her jealousy and frustration over shared friendships after her breakup.
Emma's Key Insights and Aha’s:
- She’s got a bad case of FOMO
- She has always been hypersensitive about being left out
- She has always felt like she needed to catch up
- She feels frustration, anger and resentment
- She feels relief being able to tie this experience back to core issues
How to get over it and on with it:
- She can just be herself and be enough through self-acceptance
- Let her younger self know there is nothing she needs to do to fit in
- She should find a spiritual practice and talk to God and the Universe
- She should free herself up emotionally so new soul friends can come into her life
Assignments and Takeaways:
- Look for ways you are trying to fit in or pretend to be someone you are not, and think of how you can show up as fully yourself.
- Work with your limiting beliefs about being left out. Go back and talk to your younger self and make sure that part of you knows that you do belong.
- Consider how your spiritual practice is not just about how you connect to a higher power inside you. It’s about connection and love to the oneness we all are.
- Practice the horseback rider technique from Expectation Hangover when you experience your limiting beliefs. Re-direct your thoughts to “I belong”.
- If you are going through a breakup, don’t make your friends pick sides.
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