185. “My fiancé has no savings at 43. Should we get married?”
Dec 3, 2024
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Dawn and Richard confront their financial struggles as they plan their marriage while living paycheck to paycheck. They explore the impact of their past money experiences on their current situation, emphasizing the need for a cohesive financial plan. The couple grapples with differing spending habits and the emotional toll of financial insecurity. Discussions on retirement savings and shared financial goals highlight the complexities of combining finances, revealing the importance of open conversations and accountability in their relationship.
Dawn's tendency to overspend on her family complicates their financial stability, requiring them to establish clear spending boundaries together.
Richard's past financial trauma influences his reluctance to invest, highlighting the need for open communication on their investment strategy.
The couple's differing incomes and financial philosophies necessitate a unified financial plan to align their goals for future security.
Deep dives
Financial Struggles of Dawn and Richard
Dawn and Richard are a couple living paycheck to paycheck, facing significant financial challenges. Dawn, at 48, struggles with overspending on her family while Richard, 43, deals with past trauma from a financially devastating breakup that left him fearful of spending. Their incomes are mismatched, with Dawn earning three times what Richard makes, creating tension in their relationship as they try to combine their finances. This financial imbalance has caused them to almost break up, highlighting their ongoing struggle to find common ground in managing their money.
Budgeting and Emergency Funds
Dawn and Richard express a desire for better budgeting, realizing that they do not have an emergency fund or savings in place. They highlight that only managing immediate bills without a financial strategy leaves them in a precarious position. Their total debt is relatively low, yet their substantial expenses lead to high fixed cost percentages, indicating a need for greater financial discipline. The couple acknowledges the importance of building a budget that accommodates both their current needs and long-term goals, including saving for a potential house purchase.
The Impact of Past Financial Trauma
Both Dawn and Richard carry the weight of past financial trauma, which affects their current financial behavior. Richard, whose finances were devastated by a previous relationship, exhibits hesitance to invest and contribute to shared household expenses. Dawn's experience with financial instability in her childhood has left her with a belief that she must provide for her family, often at the expense of her savings. Their past experiences complicate their ability to unify their financial strategies and create a successful joint financial future.
Creating a Unified Financial Vision
Dawn and Richard recognize that they lack a clear, shared vision for their financial future, which hinders their progress. Discussions about combining their finances reveal a need for a joint plan that outlines how they will achieve their goals, such as home ownership and retirement savings. The couple’s differing views on finances, income levels, and expenditures complicate their relationship, requiring deeper communication and understanding. They acknowledge that successful financial planning relies on creating a unified approach to managing their income and expenses.
The Importance of Investing
Investing is highlighted as a crucial element that Dawn and Richard are neglecting, leading to significant long-term financial loss. They are encouraged to divert more of their savings into investments rather than maintaining a disproportionate amount in savings accounts. Richard's reluctance to invest comes from fear rooted in his past experiences, hindering their financial growth potential. Building a consistent investment strategy could help them secure a more stable financial future while minimizing the stress of their current situation.
Confronting Financial Boundaries and Changes
Dawn grapples with the challenge of setting financial boundaries, particularly regarding her children's financial needs. She realizes that her tendency to overspend on family members exacerbates their financial struggles and detracts from their ability to save. The couple emphasizes the need for change, acknowledging that both must work together to implement firm boundaries around spending and build towards future stability. This includes taking critical steps such as reducing unnecessary expenses, like subscription services, and reframing their financial relationships with extended family.
Dawn is 48, Richard is 43, and they’re living paycheck to paycheck. Although they're engaged, they’re struggling to combine their finances because of their varied pasts. Dawn is overspending on kids and grandkids, and Richard has deep scars from a financially devastating breakup. Can they move beyond their past money stories and get aggressive about investing for retirement?
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