104: Compersion: How to Develop It, and Is It Necessary for a Successful ENM Relationship? feat. Dr. Marie Thouin

In this conversation, Dr. Marie Thouin PhD and author of What Is Compersion?, discusses the concept of compersion, which is the joy one feels for others' happiness, particularly in the context of non-monogamous relationships. The discussion explores the spectrum of emotions from jealousy to compersion, the importance of self-worth and agency, and the factors that can foster or hinder the experience of compersion. 

Chapters

Introduction to Compersion and The Origins of Her Book What Is Compersion? (00:00)

Defining Compersion: A Dive into the 3 parts. (5:02)

The Spectrum of Emotions: Jealousy to Compersion. (8:22)

Navigating Compersion: The Belief that Compersion Should be the Ultimate Goal in ENM: Toxic Positivity vs. Authenticity. (9:24)

Is Compersion Necessary for a Healthy Non-Monogamous Relationship? (12:21) 

The 6 Pillars to Cultivating Compersion: Is Compersion like a Muscle that Anyone Can Train?  (15:15)

The 1st Pillar: 

Choosing Non-Monogamy From a Place of Values and Integrity. (15:15)

If A Partner Is Doing Polyamory For Their Partner And Didn’t Necessarily Choose It, Can They Achieve Compersion? (17: 28)

The 2nd Pillar: 

Building Security Within One Self: Financial, Emotional, and Spiritual Autonomy. (20:45)

Building Inner Security in Self. (22:43)

Are Some People More Compersive than Others?  (27:27)

The 3rd Pillar: 

Security in the Relationship.  (32:30)

If You Are Practicing Non-Hierarchical Polyamory or Solo Polyamory, How You Can Create Security? (32:22)

The 4th Pillar: 

Positive Metamour Relationships: your partner’s partner (Very Important). (39:13)

What If Your Partner Does Not Want You to Meet Their Metamors?  (46:36)

What If the Metamour Does Not Want to Meet You?  (49:04)

Growth Edges: Embracing Good Pain. (51:13)

The 5th Pillar:

Perception of Benefits from your partner’s Other Relationships. (54:36)

The 6th Pillar:

Community Belonging: The Role of Support in Non-Monogamy. (57:46)

Cuckolding and Erotic Compersion: Is the Feeling Self-Centered or Other-Centered?  (01:04:50)

Final Thoughts: Don’t Pressure Yourself to Feel Compersion. (01:08:50)

____________________

Instagram @drmariethouin 

Website:  https://www.mariethouin.com for free 30 minute session, webinars, Your Compersion Worksheet

Her Book :  What Is Compersion? (Diverse Sexualities, Genders, and Relationships)

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